Don't be a prisoner of your mind

Humans-  an interesting species.  A species driven by their mind.  Higher cognitive function.  A blessing, and a curse.  A dichotomy in which we exist.  The ability for free thought and communication.  This is a power that comes with both great responsibility and caution. One that can become our best attribute or on the same stroke can be the most destructive sequence we will ever have. 

Our minds are an incredible thing.  With our access and our ability to think, we have created so many options, successes, pathways to get out of our challenges, but in the fact we have created this, we are absolutely capable of creating obstacles, challenges and ways to set ourselves up for disaster.  Our mind is the most powerful tool on the planet.  

You see, we use only a small percentage of our brain actively, even subconsciously.  We have yet to understand the mechanics of how things work, but we understand this to be true.  What we tell ourselves becomes our reality.  

You see,  that's the trick,  "The Secret" if you will.  That we become our thoughts.

Yes,  I quoted the famous movie and book, but not only that, I have also quoted so many successful individuals in that statement.  Simply put, we become what we think.  This is paramount in understanding change in our world. 

We often become imprisoned by our thoughts.  We live our life day to day, form crisis to crisis and that begets crisis.  we live paycheck to paycheck and never understand why when we think there are too many bills that another one pops up.  Many of us ponder or even stop to think about what it would be like if we weren't living that way.  and we wonder why it continues to pile up. 

We become imprisoned by what people think, how they perceive us, what we think we can NOT achieve, rather than focussing on what he CAN achieve and not worrying about the results of other people's thoughts.  Successful people have figured out that it matters not what others think, but what they, themselves, think.  Their thoughts become actions.  And in that right actions become their life. 

So how does this apply?  To you, to you who may not be able to see it now.  To those of you out there that are stuck in the cycle, the rat race, the treadmill we know as our life? 

Here are 10 things I have learned over time with my situations, my experiences and my time as a coach. 

1- SET GOALS.  they should be HUGE goals,  I mean FUCKING HUGE!!!!!  They should be so massive they scare you.  If they don't, then go back, re-evaluate, change them and make them YOURS.  OWN your goals. make them a part of your essence, your being, your existence.  They will become so engrained in your mind that they will just happen

2- WHO CARES what others think.  People are inherently critical.  We are taught to say no at a young age.  This means we are taught at the most basic level that we are NOT supposed to do things.  What if we said YES from the outset?  Aren't we supposed to learn lessons along the way? Others will ALWAYS have something to say about your life, what you choose and what direction you are headed.  FUCK THEM- it's YOUR life.  You know what you are after.  When they drive you into a state where you are in a corner cowering,  take a STAND, and fight back for your thoughts.  Don'r WORRY what happens to them.  They run THEIR life,  you run YOURS.  You are the only person with your thoughts.  Everyone else will assume and make judgements.  who cares. 

3- TAKE ACTION-  There are so many signs pointing in the direction of where we should be going.  Alot of times, we ignore the signs, the BIG ASS signs that are right in front of us.  How many times have we heard of people trying to find love when it was right in front of them?  Or how about when you have a decision to make that's not easy, and once you make it, it seems everyone comes out of the woodworks and says "we were hoping you would make that decision". 

one of our biggest challenges to taking action on things we KNOW we see right in front of us is our fear.  We are afraid that the decision will leave us in a state of action and then we won't know what to do.  It is this uncertainty that creates our response as humans... the fight or flight.  it's scary, unkown and uncomfortable.  

4- BE COMFORTABLE WITH UNCOMFORTABLE- our moments of greatest growth typically occur when our goal is WAY Bigger than what we ever imagined, or we at our most uncomfortable state.  Imagine for a moment, you are getting into a pool.  It's the heat of summer and the pool seem cold.  you stick your toe in the pool, it seems extremely cold, but then you adapt, and it feels ok.  Then you stick your leg in.  At first, it seems so cold you don't want to move.  When you do, you get shivers because it seems so cold, but then, your body adapts,   and finally you figure "fuck it", plunge head first into the pool and for JUST A MOMENT, it is uncomfortable,  and after a few laps in the pool, it feels like you have been in there all day long and you have no issues... This is much like the events in our life.  Many times we are so scared of the cold, that we never take the plunge into the water.  we are afraid of giving up the warmth of our environment to attempt to tackle the cold of the water.  Get comfortable with it... it is what we need for growth. 

5- BE GRATEFUL-  be grateful for the smallest moments you may have.  Have an "attitude of Gratitude" for all of the goodness in your life and that of the goodness yet to come.  Gratitude begets greatness.   We need to recognize that we have been given our opportunity to have greatness in our life through accepting the greatness that exists within us each and every day.  Being grateful comes from a place of humility in which we recognize that each and everything is special in our lives.  When we recognize that it is special, we become mor einvolved in creating more special moments, events, people and things in our life. 

6- GIVE ALOT, Take little- This is one of the hardest lessons I have learned throughout my life.  I am a generous person by nature.  It is easy to take givers for granted, because they seem to be giving and giving and never stop.  But this comes from a deep place within their soul in which they understand this concept.  What if we ALL gave TWICE as much as we took from others.  What if we were to stop and truly consider that we could CHANGE the world by giving back to others rather than trying to always look out for number one?  It's a tough concept, but easy to apply.  Pay it Forward is a GREAT concept for giving, but so is smiling at people and saying hello.  

7- Build a HUMAN relationship- In an age of technology where technology replaces human connection, we are so concerned about our Facebook status, our twitter tweet, our instagram photo, that we have forgotten the human connection.  there really ARE humans out there that when we put our electronic devices down to pay attention to, actually engage in discussion and remind of us why we are on this planet.  Next time you are out with your friends, try to turn your phone off, or heck just enjoy the moment with those friends.  the human in front of you is very deserving of your attention and actually deserves better than for you to be buried in your phone. 

8- Look inside yourself often, and face your demons, because otherwise they will come haunt you.  this is a HUGE step in becoming great and I think one that MOST industry leaders may ignore or put aside.  We all have demons, scitomas and thought processes.  we all have pasts, and have a history which helps us make the decisions we make on a daily basis.  We have to recognize this and accept that part of ourselves.  A lot of us will try to ignore that we have that past or not even really be open about that past with others.  But when we are quiet with ourselves, we can help determine which path of action to take and what course to follow.  Allow yourself to feel what is going on at the core.  remember that our feelings are the pulse of our soul.  Feelings determine for us what is right and wrong for our life. 

9- Listen twice as much as you talk.  THIS is a huge one for me too.  I LOVE to talk, but I can't tell you that I learn the most when I shut my mouth and just let someone talk.  we all do.  People LOVe to talk about themselves.  One of the abilities of a great leader is the ability to teach people to lead.  In order to do that, we need to learn about them.  People whom have found their greatness are "sharers" of others stories.  They often stop, listen to another person, ask a question or to to elicit a response, and then at some point can introduce that person and tell their story. 

10- Be humble.  this was another huge lesson I had to swallow.  I am a very confident individual, and often borderline ego.  However, I have learned that ego is not the best course of action, and can create turmoil.  It is important to realize we are only as good as we are at this moment.  But it's not our job to tout how "good" we are.  Let the results speak for themselves.  Let your life speak for itself, because at the end of the day, ego can get us into trouble, where recognition of our limits, but having the ability to push past them is a HUGE and incredible trait to have.  this is where inspiration comes from,  not Ego. 

I hope at least some of this sinks in.  Am I right?  I am not trying to be right or wrong, but simply trying to share with you some thoughts I have been processing today about life.  May your day be filled with Greatness.  More thoughts to come. 

Coach K

What are you doing to create Change?

I opened my eyes, looked around the room, sat quietly and listened to the fan blowing in the room.  I looked up at the ceiling and studied the room for a moment.  I got up, wandered into the bathroom to get ready for the day.  It was dark still, and I had woken up early with the intent of getting my breakfast ready before I left for the "office' at one of the businesses I am a part of.  

I walked out into the house, and just stopped for a moment as I listened to the silence that surrounded me.  It was calming, and gave me a chance to think about what the day would turn out to be.  I had to re-direct my thinking because I had visualized some challenges that i knew would be tough to deal with that day.  So I created a new line of thinking, changing the entire outcome of what I wanted for the day.  I focussed on the results of the day and what I wanted ti to be.  I focussed on the faces of the people I could hope to inspire.

I had to stop and think to myself for a moment.  What if every person were to do that in the morning.  What if each of us were to stop for 2 minutes before heading out the door and just visualized what we wanted to do that day, what we wanted to accomplish and how we wanted to make the world a better place.  Would it make a difference? 

The answer is a resounding yes! Think for a moment in your life, at moments that were not going your direction.  What did it take to turn that situation around?  It took creating change.  

You see, in our lives, we are not reactors, but rather we are creators of change. Most of us become reactors to change rather than realizing the power we have.   We have the ability to create change in every arena of our life.  

Wait, you just said we don't have to react to change, but rather we can create it?   ABSOLUTELY YES!!! 

YOU are in control of ONE person in this world... YOU.  When you realize that YOU have a sphere of influence, and that sphere of influence can help you to create the change you want to see in the world, then you will become ultimately powerful in life.  This is not by any means, a way to get people to do what you want them to do, but rather it is a way to realize we can instigate change through helping others understand we ARE the change that needs to occur.  

More often than not things remain the same because people react to the change they are faced with.  They get angry, upset, sad or blame someone else for the situations in their life. They become victims, or persecutors, or enablers.  They begin to live in the drama triangle.  They begin to cycle through and react to each situation they are presented with in one of those roles rather than accepting that THEY are in control of their reactions, their responses and their ACTIONS, 

When we realize that we control our own thoughts, reactions and actions, then we become ultimately powerful in helping to create the change we want to see. 

Let me give you an example.  In one of my businesses, I saw a huge challenge with how the community was being put together, in how certain groups were being perceived by those outside the group. Rather than react through rolling my eyes every day(which probably happened more than I wanted it to)  I sat down with some of the people in the group and explained my side as an owner of the business and how it could affect them both positively and negatively.  I also made some recommendations as an owner to keep me happy so I wasn't on their back all the time.  This alleviated a LOT of stress for them and made it easier to work with me. 

Now, in a grander scale, the impact you want to make on the world has to be your personal legacy and mark.  Each one of us has a powerful message inside of us to deliver, whether to the world, our kids, our significant others.  There is a message of change in you to be heard.  The challenge with that is that you are limited by what you believe your impact can be. 

We are going to pick up part 2 on wednesday or Thursday....  until then, keep thinking about the changes you want in your life and what you want to create in those around you. 

Our moments of Greatest Weakness Part 1

In our moments of our greatest weakness, we must be at our point of greatest resolve.  it is our resolve which helps us to withstand adversity.  Adversity gives us the power to create an opportunity, an opportunity for growth, for change, for being great.  Adversity looks you in the eyes, challenges you, pushes on you, hits you, slams you on the ground, and tries to knock you out.

The questions you have to ask yourself when this happens are these: Will I take the easy way out and allow it to beat me?  Will I allow this to change me or will I stand up, will I fight, will I forget the pain, the hurt, the stinging? Will I get up and stand up for what I believe in?  How bad do I want whatever it is that I am after.  Am I willing to get up one more time?  Am I willing to give everything I have to make it happen?  Am I willing to ensure that I get what i want?

Are you willing to take the hits to go after what you want?  You see too often in life we lay down, we forget the power within ourselves to impact change within our own lives and in the lives of others.  You CAN make a difference in your own life.  All of us have to stop, look in the mirror and seek what it is we desire deep within ourself to overcome the fear we have within us.

You see, none of us exist without fear.  In fact I was asked this evening if I am ever afraid.  I would be naive or arrogant to say I never experience fear, however due to training for my career, due to the ablity to look at and realize fear is a state of mind, and also to create a rational thought in spite of fear and act based on that, I won't get paralyzed when fear hits.  we all have fears, we all have situations, experiences, things in life which create uncomfort.

Fear is a part of adversity, a part of challenge, a part of the unknown.  truly when we act against or with adversity, we must overcome the fear of the unknown.  We all have the power within us to do this.  It is up to you to seek the power within you, to channel it, to focus i on what it is you want and desire.  For without that focus, without that drive, that passion, it will not happen.  You must ignore the nay sayers, the people who say it's too hard.  You must use that as fuel for your next step.  You must channel the energy from those who support you and not worry about those who don't.  You must change your attitude to a never give up attitude because it's really hard to beat the person who won't give up... Have you ever tried?

What you want in life will not just automatically come to you.  Yes, you have to do your best to put it out there what you want, but the trick is not to wait for it, but to take action on it.  to ensure that the moments you discover in which you can realize your on potential are recognized.  To walk through the door rather than turn from them,  to turn the TV off and hit the gym rather than let life get in the way and beat you down.  You know and understand from JUST living, we get beat up.  we get beat up physically, emotionally, spiritually.  Are you going to stand around and let it keep happening or are you going to stop putting up with it, and take control of you, your own destiny and make the changes in your life towards what you want?

You need to be willing to put in the blood sweat and tears to make it happen.  It's not just being in the right place at the right time... while it my be part of it, it is time to realize that the successful person does what the unsuccessful person is not willing to do.  Do you rise above it and go after it? ARE YOU READY??

Destined for Greatness - Focus on Success Seminar, Saturday January 28th

Want to make 2012 YOUR best year ever? Join Coach Kevin Hughes as he presents his Destined For Greatness “Focus On Success” seminar on Saturday January 28th at 11 AM at CrossFit FTF, located at 349 N Minnewawa, Clovis, CA 93612.  

Kevin will share his thoughts and experiences he has acquired from his journey as a coach, fireman, business owner, and life coach.

We all enjoy his well timed words of inspiration and motivation on a daily basis through his online posts, so this is a wonderful opportunity to learn how to apply them to your life as a parent, athlete, employee, business owner, student and the like.

Picture taken from: http://journeyintech.blogspot.com/2011/03/march-madness-meaning-of-success.html

Kevin has spent the last 15 plus years as a coach and motivator for thousands in business and personal life success.  His passion for helping and encouraging others is apparent in all that he does through his coaching at FTF, his life as a firefighter and his Destined for Greatness Life Success coaching.  This opportunity will be given in real life, real time and real emotion.  His heartfelt presentation becomes a discussion of opportunity, internal reflection and goal attainment.

Come listen, learn and really dig deep inside of yourself as you hear this amazing presentation.  This presentation/discussion will last between 2 and 3 hours. Refreshments will be provided as well as notepads.  Please bring an open mind and a willingness to go beyond your comfort zone.

Cost $20

I REFUSE and I WILL

It is with great honor that I REFUSE the following:

I REFUSE to accept excuses from myself for not making myself better every day!

I REFUSE to expect less of myself than what i am capable of

I REFUSE to allow myself to listen to others doubt in my ability

I REFUSE to hear thsoe whom are always harping at me for going against the grain. 

I REFUSE to believe I am not good enough

I REFUSE to ever give up

I REFUSE to let myself listen to the voices of fear in my head

I REFUSE to be overcome by FEAR

I REFUSE to look away from the challenge

I REFUSE to let the beating of my heart not have purpose

I REFUSE to allow myself to see failure as bad

I REFUSE to see the negative

I REFUSE to feel bad about myself

I REFUSE to let myself stop because it might be hard

I REFUSE to accept failure as an excuse for getting back up

It is with even greater honor that I accept that I will do the following: 

I WILL always give my best

I WILL push to my limits and maybe beyond

I WILL stop making excuses

I WILL go after what I want

I WILL take the first step today towards a better tomorrow

I WILL look into the eyes of my fears and beat them down

I WILL Get back up when I fall

I WILL Fall 8 times and get back up 9

I WILL smile when it hurts

I WILL laugh when I want to Cry

I WILL realize my potential

I WILL GO AFTER IT TODAY!!!!

I WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT THAT I CAN NOT AND ONLY KNOW THAT I CAN!

You have more power in your mind and hear than you will ever know.  You have seen people do incredible things.  It is time you push yourself beyond your comfort zone.  

Thought Collection

This is a recent collection of quotes from my facebook posts.  These are all Coach K originals.  Please feel free to share.  I am currently working on an E-book of these quotes I have over the years... Look for it soon.  It will be an inspirational and motivational guide for our daily lives.  I may even be making a daily quote calendar soon!  If you use these quotes, please make the appropriate reference.  Thank you.

Thank you for reading:


The moments that define our character are those moments in which we are challenged at every level. Cherish the moments in which this occurs, use it to build upon your character. use it to allow your character to shine. When these moments occur, stop for a moment, take a breath and stride forward in the direction you know to bring you the best results.- 11/21/11


Be mindful of the expectations placed upon others for at times they(expectations) can and will set you up for disappointment. Look not to others to fulfill what you wish and desire, but look only to place expectations on how YOU handle yourself and be responsible (or have the ability to respond) for how you create your life. Allow others not to disappoint you but rather be pleasantly surprised when they act in accordance with your desires.- 11/20/11


The great thing about "experience" is the lessons that you probably learned along the way to get it. The challenge with it.. you probably needed the experience in the first place to be able to understand the lesson. 11-19-11


Defeat is only a state of the mind. Allow not the thoughts of failure to pull you down, but find the power within each fall to make you stand tall and get through the toughest of times. Always will you fall, and that matters less than what you do with it but more how tall you stand after. 11/15/11


When you stop and take inventory of your life, do you find that you are where you want to be? If not, ask yourself the one question that will challenge you beyond all.... what is holding you back? when you identify this, it will be eye opening. then and only then will you be able to move forward. If you are charging forward in the direction you choose to live, then CONTINUE STRONG and TRUE to the path you are on, let nothing stand in your way! 11/13/11


If you have EVER sat down and thought about why you do the things you do.. doesn't it make you wonder? Have you ever told yourself I don't want to do it, when you know you should, I can't when you know you can? or I won't when you know you will? We are set up with NO as our first response to everything in LIFE... Have you EVER told yourself CONSISTENTLY YES I CAN, YES I WILL, YES I WANT IT THAT BAD! If you haven't, stop defeating yourself and go after "IT"!!! 11/11/11


Each and Every moment in our life is defined by our thoughts, our actions, and our response. We have the ability to choose what we think, how we respond and what action we will take. Remember that often the thoughts, actions and responses that are true to virtue and full of integrity will often lead you down the path full of obstacles, questions and possibly even more challenges. Don't take the easy way out... ever.. Do the right thing even when no one is looking. 11/10/11


The mental state you are in at this very moment is exactly as you have allowed it to be. What are you telling yourself to be where you are right now. Are you thinking the thoughts you need to be thinking right now in order to get to where you want to be? Or are you allowing yourself to get clouded by the distractions in life? Focus, Focus, FOCUS! 11/10/11


Have you stopped to look in the mirror lately? Have you looked at the depth in your eyes, the power in your soul, the fire that burns inside? Have you found the hope inside that lights your world? Have you found the passion within to make the dreams you want the most come to life? Look deep into your own eyes... It exists within you.. UNLEASH IT!!!!11/8/11


Realize there will be days in which the Risk seems greater than the benefit. The challenge is to move beyond what you think the risk will be to move out of your comfort zone and into a realm in which the most gains will be seen. You must RISK great in order to REWARD great. What are YOU willing to do for your dreams? Are you willing to put it all on the line or will you be content with where you are at this moment and allow the success of YESTERDAY dictate your life? 11/8/11


Have you ever stopped to think how your approach to life might be changed if you found it in you just to stop letting the words "I can't" rule your world. It is you against your fears. Who will win? I win over each fear one at a time! 11/6/11


The only thing holding you back from following your dreams is you. What's your hang up? Stop worrying, start living. Enjoy each moment as they are designed to guide you closer and closer to that which you desire the most. 11/4/11


Often we must learn patience when it comes to that which we want to be successful at. Learning to understand the mechanics of getting there are the hardest part. This is why focusing on what you want and making the actions a daily habit become so important as in yesterday's post. Now, we must exercise patience as the skills, the habits and the actions will develop into that which we want. HOWEVER the most important step is still to TAKE ACTION! 11/3/11


In your own success, find something you are passionate about and let the success follow you. I have never "worked" a day in my life because I have the opportunity to follow both of my "Passions" in my gym and firefighting careers. It is all to often we allow ourselves to settle in life. Wake up every day with purpose and find YOUR calling... pursue that! 11/3/11


Become disciplined in that which you desire the most. Worry not about the outcome, but focus on the action every day. Soon enough it will become a habit and a part of your life. Envision it to be so and it will be. 11/2/11


Opportunities arise daily. It is up to you to stop, recognize when they come at you and take action when they do. This can include not only personal, but business, and other opportunities as well. Don't let your FEAR of the unknown stop you from taking a risk to go after what you want. 11/2/11


States of quiet observation and paying attention to the actions and words of others is sometimes just what one needs to become recentered, focussed and learn about those around them and themselves. This is a positive step in our growth process as leaders, coaches and motivators.  11/1/11

Attitude of Life

Attitude more than aptitude determines your altitude in life. - Unknown Author


I have heard that quote a few times.  For those of you who have been patiently waiting for a new post, I am sorry it has taken so long to write.  I have been enjoying every moment with the three most important people in my life- my children.  So it is today that I have to discuss attitude.

Our lives are greatly determined by our attitude. When it hurts, do you stop, or do you turn it off, keep going and push through? Do you give your best or do you back off? Do you trust you can or question it? Do you KNOW you have more, or do you let yourself just stop. I would rather die giving all I have to life than quit giving up in what I believe I am able to do!


This was one of my recent facebook post.  I am convinced that our attitude greatly determines what happens to us in life.  Our attitude determines how we react to given situations.  You see, our lives are stories with emotions we tell ourselves.  This goes with everything we have talked about in this blog.  We talk a great deal about success, getting what you want out of life, but it begins with our attitude. 


Have you ever noticed the days you may wake up and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is some sort of expletive deleted because you woke up late, or you couldn't get your car to start, or the red lights just keep piling up.  The funny thing about that is, the more frustrated you get, the more the universe will respond with.. guess what.. frustration.  


This gets down to the core of the law of attraction.  You see, John Maxwell explains in his book.. "The Difference Maker" how much attitude affects everything we do! The outcome of our day, the words we say, the mood we are in, the people we meet, the moments in our life can all be changed through our attitude.  


We determine how we are going to react to any given situation.  We are the ONLY person who can determine our own attitude.  If we determine that there are things in our life that suck.. for instance, if your car sucks, and your job sucks, and your boyfriend or girlfriend sucks, or your house suck, then maybe YOU suck.  That's an ATTITUDE.  It simply takes a switch in how you deal with life or what you tell yourself.  


When we simply put the thoughts of a smile out, the universe will respond by aligning situations throughout the day to make us smile.  It will out people in our lives and attract the things we need to encourage that positive attitude and keep us going.  when our negativity vibes out there, we will receive just that, more negativity. 


I am going to leave this here for now and come back to this topic in a bit.  Remember for now, Our attititude is one of the greatest assets we have and will completely determine how we react to any given situation.