Impossible becomes possible when you simply- Believe!

So This weekend I had an opportunity to stop, smell the roses and have a chance to spend time with the three little lights of my eyes as well as good friends and people close to me.  tIt was an amazing weekend for me to reflect.  I was able to take a walk on my own a few times when every one went to sleep.  I was also able to hold my sons hand, and take him for a walk, catch a tadpole with him and really just enjoy the quality time with him.  I also got to see my daughter become an instant entrepeneur as she created her t-shirt design.  I saw my littlest one become an instant friend of other smaller kids and have a blast while he was sharing his heart and energy with others.  Even as I sit here typing, they are here, sleeping quietly, looking innocent and powerful in their own light.  SO I had time to reflect for a moment on what it is that makes the ordinary turn into the extraordinary, the simple turn into the advanced, the worker turn into the leader, the heart turn to solid gold, the taker turn into the giver, the impossible become the possible and the unbelievable become the believable.

The first thing I was thinking about as I was looking at the moonlight shimmering down over the lake was how amazing it is that we exist in such an amazing and powerful world.  We are here in tumultuous times with opportunites presented to us all around.  The challenge is in the way people think, not in the situation we are in.  I sat listening quietly to the lake, contemplating what things I have accomplished in my life, what I have turned away from, what types of opportunities have presented themselves to me and just sat with them for a moment and was grateful for the opportunites that I have had the ability to recognize and to believe in them when maybe many others didn't or wouldn't.  I looked for a moment in all of the people who have been attracted into my life, and gave thanks for the powerful and inspirational people, namely all of you, whom have touched my life and gave a silent thanks for the opportunity to strneghten bonds between friends, and to be able to have the ability to be open and share.   You see, before you can recognize an opportunity tha tis laid out before you, you have to recognize those that are already in your life.  The best way I have seen to recognize those opportunites is to give thanks for them.

Once you have given thanks, it is then time to work on belief.  And when I say belief, I don't mean like the belief in the tooth fairy, or belief in Santa Clause, but belief in yourself and your abilities to achieve.  As a coach, I am often put in situations in which people have a lack of belief or doubt the ability they have in themselves.  It is often my goal or my "job" as a coach to create belief in themselves.  And wait, you saym you have to CREATE belief in someone?  Yes.  We have to create belief in ourselves.  You see, we inherently as kids have nothing but belief that we can do anything- meaning that we can leap off a huge tree and survive, we can swim any amount of miles, we can be the president, we can be where the wild things are, we can be anything we want to be and literally do anything we want to do.  This goes back to a few posts ago when I talked about how perfect children are.  Their belief in being able to do anything until proven differently and then determination even if they can't is a HUGE lesson we often forget and have to "remember" for ourselves. At one time, each and every one of us believed in ourselves.  Our parents, our life, our teachers, those who were "Leading" us in our own lives began to create some of the emotions associated with how we feel about ourselves.  And then we continue to build upon that into adulthood.

Let me use an example of my kids versus another set of kids I saw this weekend camping.  My kids showed me a rattlesnake this weekend, so I followed my son down the path and had him point out where he saw the snake.  I didn't act in disbelief but I wasn't quite expecting to see anything when I got there.  It was one of those situations where as a dad.. you say "OK, let's see together and find out"  So I followed them down and sure enough there was a baby rattler right there to the side of the trail, although it took us a while to see it.  And there was another kid coming down with his dad a little after who said to his kid something derogatory in nature towards his "personality" and calling him ... well let's just say it wasn't the nicest thing.  So you see, when we are talked to as kids, by those whom lead us, it shapes us, it guides us and lays down the foundation for who you are today.

This doesn't mean that if someone didn't believe in you as a child you can't gain belief.  In my experience as a coach, I have seen many instances where you can "Borrow" belief.  I have had to in many instances in my own life, "Borrow" Belief from my peers, coaches, teachers.  I have also been there to give belief to people that they can go beyond what they think they can do, and achieve the once "Impossible" task and make it through without harm!  This is one of the wonderful things about our lives.  You see, we are all coaches, teachers, students, motivators, educators, in need, able to give, and have varying and different degrees of belief.  The beautiful thing about this is at any given moment we can stop and lean on someone else if we need to to borrow the belief or the lack of fear they may have for the task we are feeling is impossible.  I feel this is the FIRST step if you are lacking belief and are wanting to take on what you feel is impossible.

Let's take a look at the title of this .  The Impossible becomes possible when you simply- Believe!  When we Create in our life, we are in a state of belief.  We believe in our mind what we want to believe.  If we limit ourselves to our "Self Limiting beliefs", then the ability to do anything really does get hindered.  I think the best example I have seen of self-limiting beliefs are in the CrossFit facility with the "Box Jump".  the goal of this ecercise is of course to.. jump on a box.  For some reason, 16" can scare the pants off the toughest and most fit individual coming into the facility.  It is a MENTAL game we play with ourselves that keeps us from believing.  We create stories in our mind that tell us we won't make it or we may get hurt.  We attach emotions the the "FEAR" of failure and become "destined for failure" rather than Destined for Greatness.  We are capable of so much more in our lives than we give ourselves credit for.  The problem is NOT that we can NOT, but that we CHOOSE not to do the things we want in our own lives.  this simply comes down to that one word which is belief.

Leaders are created in their own minds.  This means that, yes, there are s certain set of human characteristics that "Leaders" possess, but when it comes down to it, Leaders in life typically have the ability to BELIEVE they are doing the right thing, whether they are or not.  Leaders know how to CREATE belief in others.  This is in my opinion one of the BEST qualities of a leader.  The ability to look at someone, see the potential within and help that person recognize where their strengths are and help them to work on their weaknesses becomes a huge ability in Leadership roles.  Sometimes Leaders need to use this to their advantage to help accomplish a common goal.  Leaders recognize when belief is wavering as well.  Look at some of the stories of the best leaders not only in history, but in movies.  The best stories, like Braveheart where William Wallace creates belief in his troops because he recognized the wavering of the army, become great examples of leadership.  We MUST create belief in our own lives, belief in ourselves as leaders in order to achieve that which may seem impossible.

As my eyeballs hang in the balance, Let me wrap up tonights' post which I will continue later this week with.. to CREATE the Impossible, you must BELIEVE in the impossible.

What are some things YOU have found impossible that you have overcome?

Change what you can, and if you can't, then change how you look at it!

So today, I had an amazing day.  i spent time with three incredible children that always remind me of truly what I desire in life, and what it means to have unbridled joy and undeterred energy filled with passion, excitement, joy and unconditional love.  You see, more of us should look into what things are going on with kids.  we try to shape them to fit the societal norm, and make the world in their mind fit the way we see it... when in reality, we need to take a look in the mirror and see what it is that we might be "screwing up" in our own minds.. Yes, I said "Screwing up" on purpose. 

For things you can't change, gain a new perspective. 

Image from: http://www.toxel.com/inspiration/2008/05/18/3d-sidewalk-chalk-art/

You see, we are so often so intent on changing things to fit our lives or to fit our ideals, that we get frustrated, lost, angry, and essentially "Lose" ourselves in whatever it is we might be trying to change rather than stopping and gaining perspective.  I think we have all had experiences in life in which we have gotten wrapped up in a situation that when we stop to look at it, we finally realize that MAYBE it wasn't necessarily the situation that was frustrating or the challenge laid before us that was frustrating, but how we were looking at it, the perspective we gave it, the meaning we originally intended for it to have in our lives.  this is where the ability to grow, adapt and change comes into play.  

You see, we as humans have the inane stubborn ability to look at life the way we WANT to see it and not necessarily at life as how REALITY is presenting itself.  We gain perspective on the things we hold true and near to our heart and then no one can change our mind about how we feel about it or what we tell ourselves about it.  

Take for example,. a situation at work.  You probably enjoy going to your job every day, get up, throw your hands in the air, jump for joy and go "YES I have the PRIVILEGE of going to work today"  Right???  (I know I do.. because I happen to love all three careers I have chosen)   What do you mean you don't?  Why not? 

So let's look a the title of the post.  "Change what you can, and if you can't change it then change the way you look at it".  OK So let's apply this to your job then.  So there are really two choices if you are discontent with your job as I see it.  If you are NOT happy with your current situation, what can you do about it?  either Change it (in other words, change your job) or accept what is and look at in a different way.  Maybe actually be thankful you have a job in this economy, look at it as providing for you and your family, and be grateful your skills are being used in whatever manner they may be used.  This can come down to a change in attitude from an attitude of supplication to an attitude of gratitude.  

Wait- Go back on that one Kev- What?  OK, so most of us have an attitude of I deserve this, or I should be doing that.  Where we can help ourselves to start to look at things differently is by being grateful for what it is that we do have.  Start with this- When you wake up, what are the things, people, situations, emotions in your life you are thankful for, or will be thankful for?  You seem we need to change our frequency to deal with the things we CAN'T change and put them in a higher frequency for a better response from the universe.  I may be learning this slowly, but I understand the concept.  If we can create more positive energetic vibration around a situation, then that situation ends up having a more positive response in our life.  there are a lot of things in our lives we can change if we want to.  The biggest inability we have of change is other people.  So when it comes to perspective, to changing the way we look at things, allowing people to be who they are and then looking at them in a different light may be what we need to do in order to accept who they are and not want or expect them to change who they are.  Also, we must realize that when people want change, they will create the vibration in their life to make the changes they want by simply putting the intent into the universe to align with what it is they want, whether conscious or subconscious, it happens.  This affect changes the world we live in on a daily basis.  

The point of all of this is, that it is easy for us to get frustrated when we want something or someone to change and they won't.  It means we need to back up, worry about the things we can change ( ourselves, our actions, our emotions, our situation) and if we can't change it (other people, certain random events, weather, etc.) then look at it differently and find a new perspective.  You will find that life plays out much more peaceful if you can start taking these steps!

You have the choice and the "Responsibility" for your own life

Lately, I have been around people in my own life whom have been stuck where they are in life, in being "scared" of being vulnerable, "afraid" of the future and what it might bring and "have fear" of the what-if's in life.  So I have thought a great deal on this fear, the reactions we have to life and what our lives are to become.  And as I was thinking and coaching my last seminar, i starting speaking a great deal about the choices we make in life.  You see, we have the responsibility to live our lives any way we choose.  What do I mean by this?

Let's break down the word- Responsibility into it's components:
Respond Ability- Yes, the ability to respond.  You see, we all have the ability to respond, or essentially the "Choice" to follow our hearts desires, or not to.  We all have challenges placed in front of us all the time.  it is how YOU CHOOSE TO RESPOND to these challenges and situations that will dictate the outcome.  Let's use an example.

Let me use as I often do, the choices we make regarding our own health and wellness.  You see, we are all given 24 hours in a day.  We are all given the time we need to accomplish the things that we need to do.  Here is the challenge.  Are the choices you are making allowing you to progress towards your goals.  In the event of fitness, I spent a number of years working for a large globo-gym style gym convincing people they need to work out.  Wait a second, I had to CONVINCE people they needed to move their body in order to be healthy and well.  And here is what I thought about as I was doing so.  isn't it a choice to move your body?  Isn't it a choice to do what it takes to stay healthy.  Isn't it a choice to do the things that inherently we know are going to be good for our body?  How often in yopur own life, have you made the choice to put your own health on the back burner and go do something OTHER than take care of yourself.  Let me put it another way.  If you were given the choice between all natural food that you had to prepare and food that was already prepared for you, what would you choose?  (those of you whom are close to me know how I choose to live about 85-90% of the time)

It is your ability to respond to the hours given to you in any day that help to dictate the choices you make.  Let me also take this from another angle.  The choices we make to be emotionally attached to a situation, a person, or a feeling also are dependent upon YOUR CHOICE.  Let's say for example. someone close to you does something that completely destroys the trust you had in that person.  You now have the ability to respond in any way which you see fit.  You see, most people tend to carry that with them between themselves and that person forever.  But it is YOUR CHOICE to be open and learn to trust again.  You have to be willing and make the choice to put that past you.  You can make the choice to forgive and maybe not forget.  The ability to make a choice to get beyond an incident or situation comes down to personal responsibility.  the ONLY thing we control in life is our own thoughts, feelings and actions.  I once heard that change the things you can, and for those you can't change the way you look at them.  What great advice!  This can be true of our own emotions and feelings.  Choose to look a things differently when you are challenged.  Choose to change how you feel, choose a different emotion.  Choose a different path.  It is your responsibility!  It is your life!! MAKE IT WHAT YOU WANT!

Sometimes I see people who make a choice not to make a choice.  Realize this is again exercising your ability to respond to a given situation.  You are now choosing NOT to make a choice which inherently keeps you right where you are.  If you are comfortable with this and the storyline you tell yourself (your emotions) are copasetic with that "Choice" then by all means, don't make a decision.  One of the hardest things we do when we make a choice is face our own fears and stigma's associated with it.  It means things may be uncomfortable.  It means we may have to get out of our comfort zone and make progress or stay right where we are.  It means we may fail... but that is all part of the process.  It is all part of taking responsibility for who we are and what we want out of our lives!

The past is done, so live without regret, the future is tomorrow, so don't worry about it, Today is here and now, that's why it's called the present.  Open up the gift you have been given and choose to live the life you want.

Next topic... how to accept and create change in your life.

Getting out of your comfort zone. A quick one!

Every so often in life, we find ourselves in situations, challenges and events that may either keep us in our comfort zone, or if they require us to step out of our comfort zone, we won't end up doing them because it is challenging, scary, or even can be "hurtful".  Today I truly want to spend some time writing about these times in which our comfort zone becomes a limiting factor in us exploring all of the possibilities in our lives, and prevents us from moving forward.

Definitely out of MY comfort zone, but being in a tight spot is for most of us!

There is a great quote by Teddy Roosevelt that says:

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doers of deeds could have done them better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly... Who knows great enthusiasm,s, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at his worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory or defeat"

This quote always speaks volumes to me when I am looking at a project or event in my life that I look at and say it is overwhelming, or it is a scary place to be, or I have fear, or it just seems daunting.  I would rather step into a role of giving my all to every attempt rather than sit back and watch life go by.  But this requires leaving the zone of comfort and ensuring that the things that we are doing are in accordance with our dreams, goals and being true to ourselves without fear.  Remember we have talked about fear, and what it does to us.

Fear keeps us in our comfort zone.  It is one of those things that comes into us in every situation.  I own a CrossFit gym and have recently been working with people whom have been filled with nothing but self-doubt and fear.  When I look at them with confidence and demonstrate to them they have it in them to complete an exercise or a workout, the fear starts to subside, but they always look at me as if it will be the worst experience in the world.  It is their self talk that is putting the fear or doubt in them.  This is when it is MOST important to break out of your comfort zine, to push through, to burn a little, to drive a little harder, to dream a little more, to get out of your head, to get into the mindset of I can rather than I can't, to put aside the doubts we have of ourselves and start believing in ourselves more than we ever have!  It is times like this such as at a CrossFit workout when you have to put aside what you think you know of yourself and stop existing in that comfort zone and BLOW THROUGH THE DOORS in a way in which power has never been exerted before!!!

Now think for a second if we approached life in the same way, what would you accomplish and what would you do?  What are some of the things that when you look at them, they keep you in the comfort zone?  What are some of the things you would do if you didn't know fear.  What are some of the things you could accomplish if only you could get out of that comfort zone.  What are the things that keep you "Comfortable" rather than pushing for what you want and deserve in life?  We all deserve so much out of life, but we allow ourselves to stay "Comfortable" because it is easier.  Is that what your burning desire is, to just exist and be comfortable, to be lead Rather than to lead, to continuously allow others to think for you and believe everything that is put in front of you, or do you want to question it, come up with your own ideas and challenge others to change the way they think, do you want to be one of the herd or do you want to turn and walk the other direction because you know that's what will serve your higher purpose?  It's all up to you.  If you want to progress anywhere in life, you have to grow and growth comes from stepping out of your comfort zone and taking your toe and dipping it in the water.  It all starts with ONE step, one toe, one moment, one action, one thought, one event.  The question is how long will you wait until you are ready, and allow yourself the challenge of getting out of the comfort zone??

Attitude- What role does it play in our lives?

Have you heard this before:

"Attitude not aptitude determines your altitude in life"

I just recently began reading "The Difference Maker" by John Maxwell again.  And It reminded me of the number one thing in our lives that will help us to determine how we can react or how our ability to respond to any given situation directs us towards our programmed response- Our attitude.

How many times have you woken up and felt like you "woke up on the wrong side of the bed".  Well have you ever noticed how that thought process shapes the rest of your day, what you tell yourself throughout the day and how your ability to respond to each and every situation changes?  How many times have you stopped yourself when you are having one of those days and "changed your attitude"?

I once heard in a management seminar the following-
If your job sucks, and your car sucks, and your spouse sucks and your cat sucks, and your house sucks- then you suck.  What does this mean????  Really?

As I was reading through Conversations with God today, a quote that stuck out to me was:
"It begins with you.  Everything.  All things.  You want the world to change, change things in your own world" (page 240)

This right here is the heart of everything we have been talking about over the last few posts- and it really can come down to attitude and how we look at our own world.

Have you ever noticed, there are people in our lives that seem to be eternal optimists?  Have you ever thought that maybe they look at life in a different light than others, not really focussing on seeing the negativity, not allowing the group consciousness of our society and the challenges we may all face as a human race affect them in such a way it brings them down?  How do you think it is they stay in the positive happy optimistic world they exist in with all of this turmoil, challenge and plight in the world.
It is simply their attitude.

Our attitude, whether you think it or not, is brought on by some of the very things we have discussed in this blog already- how we talk to ourselves, our beliefs we tell ourselves, and the ability to respond to the opportunities presented to us.  Wait0 did I just say to the opportunities presented to us?  YES.
Every event and experience we have is an opportunity for us to respond, an opportunity for us to have an "attitude adjustment", an ability to respond in any way we see fit.  

picture courtesy of: http://www.altdaily.com/features/news/opinion-news/a-new-transpo-option-part-one.html

Let me give you an example of an attitude adjustment/opportunity for growth and the ability to respond.  For those of you whom live in congested areas where there is a lot of traffic (for I don't... the most traffic i deal with is... well.. there is none although when I travel, i experience it)  it can take its toll on your mindset, agreed?  I would say that people react in a few different ways- I know when I am in a place of the challenged attitude , traffic to me is the worst thing in the world.. it stops my forward progress and makes me impatient, and frustrated.  What would happen if when I am in the challenged attitude that is what it is, we look at it as part of life, something we can't control and just take a deep breath and settle in for the "ride" if you will.  Doesn't it make sense that our attitude adjustment in that experience would then allow us to look at it differently?  and we would be in a much different altitude if you will? What if we went to this place instead in our mind:

What would your reaction and attitude be if you thought differently.  You see what happens is when we put our challenged attitude out into our thoughts, our thoughts create vibrations within the universe that respond with more of the same that we are putting out there.  You see, our attitude is EVERYTHING we exist in, it determines how we travel through life, it determines where we go and how the mechanics are laid out in front of us.  I can speak from personal experience in so many instances that when I have had a less than positive attitude that things in my life seem to continue to go the wrong direction, but when I start to look at the glass as half full again and determine that it has been a focus on the less than positive attitude I normally carry in life that is bringing with it a challenge for me, that life seems to play itself out in a most positive fashion.

So what is it about these people that makes them so "Optimistic".  It simply put, is the way they CHOOSE to look at the world.  Our attitude is a choice we make every day.  It is the way we choose to live, choose to believe, choose to think. It is trainable.  For those of you whom have what we would call a less than positive attitude, all it takes is to start with ONE positive thought or action per day.. and then it becomes two, then it becomes three... and so on.   Pretty soon, you will see that the world isn't such a bad place after all.  It is only then, that if each and every one of us does this, we will affect change in the world and change the attitude of the human race.  It starts inside each one of us and creates everything!

I will continue with this topic another day, but for now- realize that attitude is everything.  Start to look at what your attitude affects throughout your day.  What things do you notice that your attitude is affecting in your day?