Impossible becomes possible when you simply- Believe!

So This weekend I had an opportunity to stop, smell the roses and have a chance to spend time with the three little lights of my eyes as well as good friends and people close to me.  tIt was an amazing weekend for me to reflect.  I was able to take a walk on my own a few times when every one went to sleep.  I was also able to hold my sons hand, and take him for a walk, catch a tadpole with him and really just enjoy the quality time with him.  I also got to see my daughter become an instant entrepeneur as she created her t-shirt design.  I saw my littlest one become an instant friend of other smaller kids and have a blast while he was sharing his heart and energy with others.  Even as I sit here typing, they are here, sleeping quietly, looking innocent and powerful in their own light.  SO I had time to reflect for a moment on what it is that makes the ordinary turn into the extraordinary, the simple turn into the advanced, the worker turn into the leader, the heart turn to solid gold, the taker turn into the giver, the impossible become the possible and the unbelievable become the believable.

The first thing I was thinking about as I was looking at the moonlight shimmering down over the lake was how amazing it is that we exist in such an amazing and powerful world.  We are here in tumultuous times with opportunites presented to us all around.  The challenge is in the way people think, not in the situation we are in.  I sat listening quietly to the lake, contemplating what things I have accomplished in my life, what I have turned away from, what types of opportunities have presented themselves to me and just sat with them for a moment and was grateful for the opportunites that I have had the ability to recognize and to believe in them when maybe many others didn't or wouldn't.  I looked for a moment in all of the people who have been attracted into my life, and gave thanks for the powerful and inspirational people, namely all of you, whom have touched my life and gave a silent thanks for the opportunity to strneghten bonds between friends, and to be able to have the ability to be open and share.   You see, before you can recognize an opportunity tha tis laid out before you, you have to recognize those that are already in your life.  The best way I have seen to recognize those opportunites is to give thanks for them.

Once you have given thanks, it is then time to work on belief.  And when I say belief, I don't mean like the belief in the tooth fairy, or belief in Santa Clause, but belief in yourself and your abilities to achieve.  As a coach, I am often put in situations in which people have a lack of belief or doubt the ability they have in themselves.  It is often my goal or my "job" as a coach to create belief in themselves.  And wait, you saym you have to CREATE belief in someone?  Yes.  We have to create belief in ourselves.  You see, we inherently as kids have nothing but belief that we can do anything- meaning that we can leap off a huge tree and survive, we can swim any amount of miles, we can be the president, we can be where the wild things are, we can be anything we want to be and literally do anything we want to do.  This goes back to a few posts ago when I talked about how perfect children are.  Their belief in being able to do anything until proven differently and then determination even if they can't is a HUGE lesson we often forget and have to "remember" for ourselves. At one time, each and every one of us believed in ourselves.  Our parents, our life, our teachers, those who were "Leading" us in our own lives began to create some of the emotions associated with how we feel about ourselves.  And then we continue to build upon that into adulthood.

Let me use an example of my kids versus another set of kids I saw this weekend camping.  My kids showed me a rattlesnake this weekend, so I followed my son down the path and had him point out where he saw the snake.  I didn't act in disbelief but I wasn't quite expecting to see anything when I got there.  It was one of those situations where as a dad.. you say "OK, let's see together and find out"  So I followed them down and sure enough there was a baby rattler right there to the side of the trail, although it took us a while to see it.  And there was another kid coming down with his dad a little after who said to his kid something derogatory in nature towards his "personality" and calling him ... well let's just say it wasn't the nicest thing.  So you see, when we are talked to as kids, by those whom lead us, it shapes us, it guides us and lays down the foundation for who you are today.

This doesn't mean that if someone didn't believe in you as a child you can't gain belief.  In my experience as a coach, I have seen many instances where you can "Borrow" belief.  I have had to in many instances in my own life, "Borrow" Belief from my peers, coaches, teachers.  I have also been there to give belief to people that they can go beyond what they think they can do, and achieve the once "Impossible" task and make it through without harm!  This is one of the wonderful things about our lives.  You see, we are all coaches, teachers, students, motivators, educators, in need, able to give, and have varying and different degrees of belief.  The beautiful thing about this is at any given moment we can stop and lean on someone else if we need to to borrow the belief or the lack of fear they may have for the task we are feeling is impossible.  I feel this is the FIRST step if you are lacking belief and are wanting to take on what you feel is impossible.

Let's take a look at the title of this .  The Impossible becomes possible when you simply- Believe!  When we Create in our life, we are in a state of belief.  We believe in our mind what we want to believe.  If we limit ourselves to our "Self Limiting beliefs", then the ability to do anything really does get hindered.  I think the best example I have seen of self-limiting beliefs are in the CrossFit facility with the "Box Jump".  the goal of this ecercise is of course to.. jump on a box.  For some reason, 16" can scare the pants off the toughest and most fit individual coming into the facility.  It is a MENTAL game we play with ourselves that keeps us from believing.  We create stories in our mind that tell us we won't make it or we may get hurt.  We attach emotions the the "FEAR" of failure and become "destined for failure" rather than Destined for Greatness.  We are capable of so much more in our lives than we give ourselves credit for.  The problem is NOT that we can NOT, but that we CHOOSE not to do the things we want in our own lives.  this simply comes down to that one word which is belief.

Leaders are created in their own minds.  This means that, yes, there are s certain set of human characteristics that "Leaders" possess, but when it comes down to it, Leaders in life typically have the ability to BELIEVE they are doing the right thing, whether they are or not.  Leaders know how to CREATE belief in others.  This is in my opinion one of the BEST qualities of a leader.  The ability to look at someone, see the potential within and help that person recognize where their strengths are and help them to work on their weaknesses becomes a huge ability in Leadership roles.  Sometimes Leaders need to use this to their advantage to help accomplish a common goal.  Leaders recognize when belief is wavering as well.  Look at some of the stories of the best leaders not only in history, but in movies.  The best stories, like Braveheart where William Wallace creates belief in his troops because he recognized the wavering of the army, become great examples of leadership.  We MUST create belief in our own lives, belief in ourselves as leaders in order to achieve that which may seem impossible.

As my eyeballs hang in the balance, Let me wrap up tonights' post which I will continue later this week with.. to CREATE the Impossible, you must BELIEVE in the impossible.

What are some things YOU have found impossible that you have overcome?

Change what you can, and if you can't, then change how you look at it!

So today, I had an amazing day.  i spent time with three incredible children that always remind me of truly what I desire in life, and what it means to have unbridled joy and undeterred energy filled with passion, excitement, joy and unconditional love.  You see, more of us should look into what things are going on with kids.  we try to shape them to fit the societal norm, and make the world in their mind fit the way we see it... when in reality, we need to take a look in the mirror and see what it is that we might be "screwing up" in our own minds.. Yes, I said "Screwing up" on purpose. 

For things you can't change, gain a new perspective. 

Image from: http://www.toxel.com/inspiration/2008/05/18/3d-sidewalk-chalk-art/

You see, we are so often so intent on changing things to fit our lives or to fit our ideals, that we get frustrated, lost, angry, and essentially "Lose" ourselves in whatever it is we might be trying to change rather than stopping and gaining perspective.  I think we have all had experiences in life in which we have gotten wrapped up in a situation that when we stop to look at it, we finally realize that MAYBE it wasn't necessarily the situation that was frustrating or the challenge laid before us that was frustrating, but how we were looking at it, the perspective we gave it, the meaning we originally intended for it to have in our lives.  this is where the ability to grow, adapt and change comes into play.  

You see, we as humans have the inane stubborn ability to look at life the way we WANT to see it and not necessarily at life as how REALITY is presenting itself.  We gain perspective on the things we hold true and near to our heart and then no one can change our mind about how we feel about it or what we tell ourselves about it.  

Take for example,. a situation at work.  You probably enjoy going to your job every day, get up, throw your hands in the air, jump for joy and go "YES I have the PRIVILEGE of going to work today"  Right???  (I know I do.. because I happen to love all three careers I have chosen)   What do you mean you don't?  Why not? 

So let's look a the title of the post.  "Change what you can, and if you can't change it then change the way you look at it".  OK So let's apply this to your job then.  So there are really two choices if you are discontent with your job as I see it.  If you are NOT happy with your current situation, what can you do about it?  either Change it (in other words, change your job) or accept what is and look at in a different way.  Maybe actually be thankful you have a job in this economy, look at it as providing for you and your family, and be grateful your skills are being used in whatever manner they may be used.  This can come down to a change in attitude from an attitude of supplication to an attitude of gratitude.  

Wait- Go back on that one Kev- What?  OK, so most of us have an attitude of I deserve this, or I should be doing that.  Where we can help ourselves to start to look at things differently is by being grateful for what it is that we do have.  Start with this- When you wake up, what are the things, people, situations, emotions in your life you are thankful for, or will be thankful for?  You seem we need to change our frequency to deal with the things we CAN'T change and put them in a higher frequency for a better response from the universe.  I may be learning this slowly, but I understand the concept.  If we can create more positive energetic vibration around a situation, then that situation ends up having a more positive response in our life.  there are a lot of things in our lives we can change if we want to.  The biggest inability we have of change is other people.  So when it comes to perspective, to changing the way we look at things, allowing people to be who they are and then looking at them in a different light may be what we need to do in order to accept who they are and not want or expect them to change who they are.  Also, we must realize that when people want change, they will create the vibration in their life to make the changes they want by simply putting the intent into the universe to align with what it is they want, whether conscious or subconscious, it happens.  This affect changes the world we live in on a daily basis.  

The point of all of this is, that it is easy for us to get frustrated when we want something or someone to change and they won't.  It means we need to back up, worry about the things we can change ( ourselves, our actions, our emotions, our situation) and if we can't change it (other people, certain random events, weather, etc.) then look at it differently and find a new perspective.  You will find that life plays out much more peaceful if you can start taking these steps!

Life is a Highway- And we are the drivers......

You know, Chris Le'Doux Said it best when he said "Life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long".  Well as I have been travelling more and more, I find truly that Life, is a highway and much life the highway, how we drive our cars can dictate how we might live in many areas of our lives.  I have spent many countless hours in my car on trips to Los Angelas, San Francisco, Fresno, and pretty much everywhere in between and especially as I am travelling with my kids this month, I am paying attention more and more to the way people drive.

Think about for a moment all the types of drivers there are in life.  And realize there is ABSOLUTELY no science behind this, just my observation.  There are angry aggressive people who dodge in and out of traffic cutting others off, without a care as to whether they cause bodily damage to any one else, taking extreme risks and cutting it close all the time ( High Risk takers... sometimes in life these risks are too extreme???).  There are people who get in a crowd of traffic, and work their way through the traffic but in a consistent and calculated manner and are cautious of other people and the "Space" around their vehicle.  They eventually pull away from the crowd in success to reach their destination a little ahead of schedule.  (these are calculated risk takers in life)  there are those who pull in to the fast lane when traffic is moving faster than them and just SIT THERE blocking traffic from proceeding behind them all the while acting as if there is no care in the world (Know anyone like this in your life.. an obstacle, or a challenge to go around or "deal" with"?)   there are those who kick it in the slow lane and watch the rest of traffic pass them by. (Maybe someone who allows life to control them rather than the other way around).  there are then the motorcycles who speed up in between you in traffic who make their own way (maybe someone who is blazing their own trail with calculated risk).  Each type of driver there is out there can represent some area of our lives.  And i say some area because this is how I see it:

We are all drivers on our own highway of life.  But along the way there are lane changes, traffic jams, slow people, fast people, exits, turns, curves, mountains, etc.  How we drive in each of these situations may very well be a representation of how we live our life.  We all have the road we are travelling paved with it's own stuff.  It is our decision on how to drive our highway much like it is our decision how to drive in a highway full of others whom are in control of their own car and lives.  It was so clear to me when I was coming back to Fresno the other day that each of us, we have to recognize that our highway is ours but we have to look at how our highway is guiding us and what it is giving is in our own life.  How are you driving down your highway?  At what moment do you become the calculated risk taker versus the slow cautious driver?  At which point do you say I'm going too slow and need to pick it up?  At which point do you say, I'm going too fast and need to hit the brakes?  you see, when we are driving, I have heard that we may make up to 1000 decisions a minute- maybe more!  that's a ton.  If we do that while driving, then JUST IMAGINE how many decisions you are making in your daily life?

How are you choosing to drive on your highway???