Thought Collection

This is a recent collection of quotes from my facebook posts.  These are all Coach K originals.  Please feel free to share.  I am currently working on an E-book of these quotes I have over the years... Look for it soon.  It will be an inspirational and motivational guide for our daily lives.  I may even be making a daily quote calendar soon!  If you use these quotes, please make the appropriate reference.  Thank you.

Thank you for reading:


The moments that define our character are those moments in which we are challenged at every level. Cherish the moments in which this occurs, use it to build upon your character. use it to allow your character to shine. When these moments occur, stop for a moment, take a breath and stride forward in the direction you know to bring you the best results.- 11/21/11


Be mindful of the expectations placed upon others for at times they(expectations) can and will set you up for disappointment. Look not to others to fulfill what you wish and desire, but look only to place expectations on how YOU handle yourself and be responsible (or have the ability to respond) for how you create your life. Allow others not to disappoint you but rather be pleasantly surprised when they act in accordance with your desires.- 11/20/11


The great thing about "experience" is the lessons that you probably learned along the way to get it. The challenge with it.. you probably needed the experience in the first place to be able to understand the lesson. 11-19-11


Defeat is only a state of the mind. Allow not the thoughts of failure to pull you down, but find the power within each fall to make you stand tall and get through the toughest of times. Always will you fall, and that matters less than what you do with it but more how tall you stand after. 11/15/11


When you stop and take inventory of your life, do you find that you are where you want to be? If not, ask yourself the one question that will challenge you beyond all.... what is holding you back? when you identify this, it will be eye opening. then and only then will you be able to move forward. If you are charging forward in the direction you choose to live, then CONTINUE STRONG and TRUE to the path you are on, let nothing stand in your way! 11/13/11


If you have EVER sat down and thought about why you do the things you do.. doesn't it make you wonder? Have you ever told yourself I don't want to do it, when you know you should, I can't when you know you can? or I won't when you know you will? We are set up with NO as our first response to everything in LIFE... Have you EVER told yourself CONSISTENTLY YES I CAN, YES I WILL, YES I WANT IT THAT BAD! If you haven't, stop defeating yourself and go after "IT"!!! 11/11/11


Each and Every moment in our life is defined by our thoughts, our actions, and our response. We have the ability to choose what we think, how we respond and what action we will take. Remember that often the thoughts, actions and responses that are true to virtue and full of integrity will often lead you down the path full of obstacles, questions and possibly even more challenges. Don't take the easy way out... ever.. Do the right thing even when no one is looking. 11/10/11


The mental state you are in at this very moment is exactly as you have allowed it to be. What are you telling yourself to be where you are right now. Are you thinking the thoughts you need to be thinking right now in order to get to where you want to be? Or are you allowing yourself to get clouded by the distractions in life? Focus, Focus, FOCUS! 11/10/11


Have you stopped to look in the mirror lately? Have you looked at the depth in your eyes, the power in your soul, the fire that burns inside? Have you found the hope inside that lights your world? Have you found the passion within to make the dreams you want the most come to life? Look deep into your own eyes... It exists within you.. UNLEASH IT!!!!11/8/11


Realize there will be days in which the Risk seems greater than the benefit. The challenge is to move beyond what you think the risk will be to move out of your comfort zone and into a realm in which the most gains will be seen. You must RISK great in order to REWARD great. What are YOU willing to do for your dreams? Are you willing to put it all on the line or will you be content with where you are at this moment and allow the success of YESTERDAY dictate your life? 11/8/11


Have you ever stopped to think how your approach to life might be changed if you found it in you just to stop letting the words "I can't" rule your world. It is you against your fears. Who will win? I win over each fear one at a time! 11/6/11


The only thing holding you back from following your dreams is you. What's your hang up? Stop worrying, start living. Enjoy each moment as they are designed to guide you closer and closer to that which you desire the most. 11/4/11


Often we must learn patience when it comes to that which we want to be successful at. Learning to understand the mechanics of getting there are the hardest part. This is why focusing on what you want and making the actions a daily habit become so important as in yesterday's post. Now, we must exercise patience as the skills, the habits and the actions will develop into that which we want. HOWEVER the most important step is still to TAKE ACTION! 11/3/11


In your own success, find something you are passionate about and let the success follow you. I have never "worked" a day in my life because I have the opportunity to follow both of my "Passions" in my gym and firefighting careers. It is all to often we allow ourselves to settle in life. Wake up every day with purpose and find YOUR calling... pursue that! 11/3/11


Become disciplined in that which you desire the most. Worry not about the outcome, but focus on the action every day. Soon enough it will become a habit and a part of your life. Envision it to be so and it will be. 11/2/11


Opportunities arise daily. It is up to you to stop, recognize when they come at you and take action when they do. This can include not only personal, but business, and other opportunities as well. Don't let your FEAR of the unknown stop you from taking a risk to go after what you want. 11/2/11


States of quiet observation and paying attention to the actions and words of others is sometimes just what one needs to become recentered, focussed and learn about those around them and themselves. This is a positive step in our growth process as leaders, coaches and motivators.  11/1/11

Attitude of Life

Attitude more than aptitude determines your altitude in life. - Unknown Author


I have heard that quote a few times.  For those of you who have been patiently waiting for a new post, I am sorry it has taken so long to write.  I have been enjoying every moment with the three most important people in my life- my children.  So it is today that I have to discuss attitude.

Our lives are greatly determined by our attitude. When it hurts, do you stop, or do you turn it off, keep going and push through? Do you give your best or do you back off? Do you trust you can or question it? Do you KNOW you have more, or do you let yourself just stop. I would rather die giving all I have to life than quit giving up in what I believe I am able to do!


This was one of my recent facebook post.  I am convinced that our attitude greatly determines what happens to us in life.  Our attitude determines how we react to given situations.  You see, our lives are stories with emotions we tell ourselves.  This goes with everything we have talked about in this blog.  We talk a great deal about success, getting what you want out of life, but it begins with our attitude. 


Have you ever noticed the days you may wake up and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is some sort of expletive deleted because you woke up late, or you couldn't get your car to start, or the red lights just keep piling up.  The funny thing about that is, the more frustrated you get, the more the universe will respond with.. guess what.. frustration.  


This gets down to the core of the law of attraction.  You see, John Maxwell explains in his book.. "The Difference Maker" how much attitude affects everything we do! The outcome of our day, the words we say, the mood we are in, the people we meet, the moments in our life can all be changed through our attitude.  


We determine how we are going to react to any given situation.  We are the ONLY person who can determine our own attitude.  If we determine that there are things in our life that suck.. for instance, if your car sucks, and your job sucks, and your boyfriend or girlfriend sucks, or your house suck, then maybe YOU suck.  That's an ATTITUDE.  It simply takes a switch in how you deal with life or what you tell yourself.  


When we simply put the thoughts of a smile out, the universe will respond by aligning situations throughout the day to make us smile.  It will out people in our lives and attract the things we need to encourage that positive attitude and keep us going.  when our negativity vibes out there, we will receive just that, more negativity. 


I am going to leave this here for now and come back to this topic in a bit.  Remember for now, Our attititude is one of the greatest assets we have and will completely determine how we react to any given situation.

Impossible becomes possible when you simply- Believe!

So This weekend I had an opportunity to stop, smell the roses and have a chance to spend time with the three little lights of my eyes as well as good friends and people close to me.  tIt was an amazing weekend for me to reflect.  I was able to take a walk on my own a few times when every one went to sleep.  I was also able to hold my sons hand, and take him for a walk, catch a tadpole with him and really just enjoy the quality time with him.  I also got to see my daughter become an instant entrepeneur as she created her t-shirt design.  I saw my littlest one become an instant friend of other smaller kids and have a blast while he was sharing his heart and energy with others.  Even as I sit here typing, they are here, sleeping quietly, looking innocent and powerful in their own light.  SO I had time to reflect for a moment on what it is that makes the ordinary turn into the extraordinary, the simple turn into the advanced, the worker turn into the leader, the heart turn to solid gold, the taker turn into the giver, the impossible become the possible and the unbelievable become the believable.

The first thing I was thinking about as I was looking at the moonlight shimmering down over the lake was how amazing it is that we exist in such an amazing and powerful world.  We are here in tumultuous times with opportunites presented to us all around.  The challenge is in the way people think, not in the situation we are in.  I sat listening quietly to the lake, contemplating what things I have accomplished in my life, what I have turned away from, what types of opportunities have presented themselves to me and just sat with them for a moment and was grateful for the opportunites that I have had the ability to recognize and to believe in them when maybe many others didn't or wouldn't.  I looked for a moment in all of the people who have been attracted into my life, and gave thanks for the powerful and inspirational people, namely all of you, whom have touched my life and gave a silent thanks for the opportunity to strneghten bonds between friends, and to be able to have the ability to be open and share.   You see, before you can recognize an opportunity tha tis laid out before you, you have to recognize those that are already in your life.  The best way I have seen to recognize those opportunites is to give thanks for them.

Once you have given thanks, it is then time to work on belief.  And when I say belief, I don't mean like the belief in the tooth fairy, or belief in Santa Clause, but belief in yourself and your abilities to achieve.  As a coach, I am often put in situations in which people have a lack of belief or doubt the ability they have in themselves.  It is often my goal or my "job" as a coach to create belief in themselves.  And wait, you saym you have to CREATE belief in someone?  Yes.  We have to create belief in ourselves.  You see, we inherently as kids have nothing but belief that we can do anything- meaning that we can leap off a huge tree and survive, we can swim any amount of miles, we can be the president, we can be where the wild things are, we can be anything we want to be and literally do anything we want to do.  This goes back to a few posts ago when I talked about how perfect children are.  Their belief in being able to do anything until proven differently and then determination even if they can't is a HUGE lesson we often forget and have to "remember" for ourselves. At one time, each and every one of us believed in ourselves.  Our parents, our life, our teachers, those who were "Leading" us in our own lives began to create some of the emotions associated with how we feel about ourselves.  And then we continue to build upon that into adulthood.

Let me use an example of my kids versus another set of kids I saw this weekend camping.  My kids showed me a rattlesnake this weekend, so I followed my son down the path and had him point out where he saw the snake.  I didn't act in disbelief but I wasn't quite expecting to see anything when I got there.  It was one of those situations where as a dad.. you say "OK, let's see together and find out"  So I followed them down and sure enough there was a baby rattler right there to the side of the trail, although it took us a while to see it.  And there was another kid coming down with his dad a little after who said to his kid something derogatory in nature towards his "personality" and calling him ... well let's just say it wasn't the nicest thing.  So you see, when we are talked to as kids, by those whom lead us, it shapes us, it guides us and lays down the foundation for who you are today.

This doesn't mean that if someone didn't believe in you as a child you can't gain belief.  In my experience as a coach, I have seen many instances where you can "Borrow" belief.  I have had to in many instances in my own life, "Borrow" Belief from my peers, coaches, teachers.  I have also been there to give belief to people that they can go beyond what they think they can do, and achieve the once "Impossible" task and make it through without harm!  This is one of the wonderful things about our lives.  You see, we are all coaches, teachers, students, motivators, educators, in need, able to give, and have varying and different degrees of belief.  The beautiful thing about this is at any given moment we can stop and lean on someone else if we need to to borrow the belief or the lack of fear they may have for the task we are feeling is impossible.  I feel this is the FIRST step if you are lacking belief and are wanting to take on what you feel is impossible.

Let's take a look at the title of this .  The Impossible becomes possible when you simply- Believe!  When we Create in our life, we are in a state of belief.  We believe in our mind what we want to believe.  If we limit ourselves to our "Self Limiting beliefs", then the ability to do anything really does get hindered.  I think the best example I have seen of self-limiting beliefs are in the CrossFit facility with the "Box Jump".  the goal of this ecercise is of course to.. jump on a box.  For some reason, 16" can scare the pants off the toughest and most fit individual coming into the facility.  It is a MENTAL game we play with ourselves that keeps us from believing.  We create stories in our mind that tell us we won't make it or we may get hurt.  We attach emotions the the "FEAR" of failure and become "destined for failure" rather than Destined for Greatness.  We are capable of so much more in our lives than we give ourselves credit for.  The problem is NOT that we can NOT, but that we CHOOSE not to do the things we want in our own lives.  this simply comes down to that one word which is belief.

Leaders are created in their own minds.  This means that, yes, there are s certain set of human characteristics that "Leaders" possess, but when it comes down to it, Leaders in life typically have the ability to BELIEVE they are doing the right thing, whether they are or not.  Leaders know how to CREATE belief in others.  This is in my opinion one of the BEST qualities of a leader.  The ability to look at someone, see the potential within and help that person recognize where their strengths are and help them to work on their weaknesses becomes a huge ability in Leadership roles.  Sometimes Leaders need to use this to their advantage to help accomplish a common goal.  Leaders recognize when belief is wavering as well.  Look at some of the stories of the best leaders not only in history, but in movies.  The best stories, like Braveheart where William Wallace creates belief in his troops because he recognized the wavering of the army, become great examples of leadership.  We MUST create belief in our own lives, belief in ourselves as leaders in order to achieve that which may seem impossible.

As my eyeballs hang in the balance, Let me wrap up tonights' post which I will continue later this week with.. to CREATE the Impossible, you must BELIEVE in the impossible.

What are some things YOU have found impossible that you have overcome?

Change what you can, and if you can't, then change how you look at it!

So today, I had an amazing day.  i spent time with three incredible children that always remind me of truly what I desire in life, and what it means to have unbridled joy and undeterred energy filled with passion, excitement, joy and unconditional love.  You see, more of us should look into what things are going on with kids.  we try to shape them to fit the societal norm, and make the world in their mind fit the way we see it... when in reality, we need to take a look in the mirror and see what it is that we might be "screwing up" in our own minds.. Yes, I said "Screwing up" on purpose. 

For things you can't change, gain a new perspective. 

Image from: http://www.toxel.com/inspiration/2008/05/18/3d-sidewalk-chalk-art/

You see, we are so often so intent on changing things to fit our lives or to fit our ideals, that we get frustrated, lost, angry, and essentially "Lose" ourselves in whatever it is we might be trying to change rather than stopping and gaining perspective.  I think we have all had experiences in life in which we have gotten wrapped up in a situation that when we stop to look at it, we finally realize that MAYBE it wasn't necessarily the situation that was frustrating or the challenge laid before us that was frustrating, but how we were looking at it, the perspective we gave it, the meaning we originally intended for it to have in our lives.  this is where the ability to grow, adapt and change comes into play.  

You see, we as humans have the inane stubborn ability to look at life the way we WANT to see it and not necessarily at life as how REALITY is presenting itself.  We gain perspective on the things we hold true and near to our heart and then no one can change our mind about how we feel about it or what we tell ourselves about it.  

Take for example,. a situation at work.  You probably enjoy going to your job every day, get up, throw your hands in the air, jump for joy and go "YES I have the PRIVILEGE of going to work today"  Right???  (I know I do.. because I happen to love all three careers I have chosen)   What do you mean you don't?  Why not? 

So let's look a the title of the post.  "Change what you can, and if you can't change it then change the way you look at it".  OK So let's apply this to your job then.  So there are really two choices if you are discontent with your job as I see it.  If you are NOT happy with your current situation, what can you do about it?  either Change it (in other words, change your job) or accept what is and look at in a different way.  Maybe actually be thankful you have a job in this economy, look at it as providing for you and your family, and be grateful your skills are being used in whatever manner they may be used.  This can come down to a change in attitude from an attitude of supplication to an attitude of gratitude.  

Wait- Go back on that one Kev- What?  OK, so most of us have an attitude of I deserve this, or I should be doing that.  Where we can help ourselves to start to look at things differently is by being grateful for what it is that we do have.  Start with this- When you wake up, what are the things, people, situations, emotions in your life you are thankful for, or will be thankful for?  You seem we need to change our frequency to deal with the things we CAN'T change and put them in a higher frequency for a better response from the universe.  I may be learning this slowly, but I understand the concept.  If we can create more positive energetic vibration around a situation, then that situation ends up having a more positive response in our life.  there are a lot of things in our lives we can change if we want to.  The biggest inability we have of change is other people.  So when it comes to perspective, to changing the way we look at things, allowing people to be who they are and then looking at them in a different light may be what we need to do in order to accept who they are and not want or expect them to change who they are.  Also, we must realize that when people want change, they will create the vibration in their life to make the changes they want by simply putting the intent into the universe to align with what it is they want, whether conscious or subconscious, it happens.  This affect changes the world we live in on a daily basis.  

The point of all of this is, that it is easy for us to get frustrated when we want something or someone to change and they won't.  It means we need to back up, worry about the things we can change ( ourselves, our actions, our emotions, our situation) and if we can't change it (other people, certain random events, weather, etc.) then look at it differently and find a new perspective.  You will find that life plays out much more peaceful if you can start taking these steps!

Life is a Highway- And we are the drivers......

You know, Chris Le'Doux Said it best when he said "Life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long".  Well as I have been travelling more and more, I find truly that Life, is a highway and much life the highway, how we drive our cars can dictate how we might live in many areas of our lives.  I have spent many countless hours in my car on trips to Los Angelas, San Francisco, Fresno, and pretty much everywhere in between and especially as I am travelling with my kids this month, I am paying attention more and more to the way people drive.

Think about for a moment all the types of drivers there are in life.  And realize there is ABSOLUTELY no science behind this, just my observation.  There are angry aggressive people who dodge in and out of traffic cutting others off, without a care as to whether they cause bodily damage to any one else, taking extreme risks and cutting it close all the time ( High Risk takers... sometimes in life these risks are too extreme???).  There are people who get in a crowd of traffic, and work their way through the traffic but in a consistent and calculated manner and are cautious of other people and the "Space" around their vehicle.  They eventually pull away from the crowd in success to reach their destination a little ahead of schedule.  (these are calculated risk takers in life)  there are those who pull in to the fast lane when traffic is moving faster than them and just SIT THERE blocking traffic from proceeding behind them all the while acting as if there is no care in the world (Know anyone like this in your life.. an obstacle, or a challenge to go around or "deal" with"?)   there are those who kick it in the slow lane and watch the rest of traffic pass them by. (Maybe someone who allows life to control them rather than the other way around).  there are then the motorcycles who speed up in between you in traffic who make their own way (maybe someone who is blazing their own trail with calculated risk).  Each type of driver there is out there can represent some area of our lives.  And i say some area because this is how I see it:

We are all drivers on our own highway of life.  But along the way there are lane changes, traffic jams, slow people, fast people, exits, turns, curves, mountains, etc.  How we drive in each of these situations may very well be a representation of how we live our life.  We all have the road we are travelling paved with it's own stuff.  It is our decision on how to drive our highway much like it is our decision how to drive in a highway full of others whom are in control of their own car and lives.  It was so clear to me when I was coming back to Fresno the other day that each of us, we have to recognize that our highway is ours but we have to look at how our highway is guiding us and what it is giving is in our own life.  How are you driving down your highway?  At what moment do you become the calculated risk taker versus the slow cautious driver?  At which point do you say I'm going too slow and need to pick it up?  At which point do you say, I'm going too fast and need to hit the brakes?  you see, when we are driving, I have heard that we may make up to 1000 decisions a minute- maybe more!  that's a ton.  If we do that while driving, then JUST IMAGINE how many decisions you are making in your daily life?

How are you choosing to drive on your highway???

The perfection of Children- A good example for us!

Sorry for the delay in writing to all of you.  I have been heavily involved in working at the fire station as well as getting prepared for the month long visit from my children which I have recently started!  It has been an amazing beginning of the trip and I have found myself observing, watching and looking at my children in different light this trip as their roles in my life continually develop, change and grow.  

My kids are 12, 10 and 8- Nicole, Jared and Jacob respectively.  I have never seen more perfection in a soul or in actions as kids.  As I have watched over the last few days I have paid attention to mood, communication, stories, actions, excitement, drama, temper tantrums, blwoing up, hurt feelings, and all of the above.  And it ALL made sense to me.  Let me use their stories to help us identify what we can do as people to recognize our own challenges. 

You see, I have said this before, but we are born perfect as kids.  As I watched my kids here are the qualities I see: 

• Fearless
• open to communicate in the LOUDEST way possible
• Curious
• Inspired
• Determined
• Playful
• Engaged in life
• Emotional
• Not closed off
• Loving
• Open to affection
• Able to act without thought
• Unaware of danger
• not in tune with the bad stuff in the world
• Open to lessons
• Learns lessons easily

When we start to examine our own lives and how we have gotten to where we are, sometimes we have to look at what our actions and our lives we lead are like.  I would venture to say if we were half as fearless as we were when we were kids, we would accomplish so much more in life because we would not care about the outcome, nor would we care what others thought. You see, so often we work so hard on pleasing others, we forget what it truly is that we want or desire.  We sometimes forget what our dreams and goals are because we are so focussed outwardly on what other people think of us. 

You see, our dreams, our goals, our visions of what we want in our life, they are ours.  they don't belong to anyone else.  Kids get this.  They understand that it is everything to be able to communicate, it is everything to be able to just exist in the moment.  They don't worry about tomorrw.  They very rarely regret the past.  They simply exist for what it is in front of them at this moment, at this time.  It is with age, we gain "Wisdom" which sometimes can hinder our greatest achievements because we are worried about who will say something or what will people think if we do.

You see, we need to be more inquisitive, more trusting, more willing to put ourselves out there, more able to dream, more open to others, more communicative.  If we all did this as adults, could you imagine what this world would be like and how much we could accomplish as a human race?  The only limit we would have is how fast we could come up with resources for anything we wanted.  It is up to us on a daily basis to live the way we choose to live.  I am choosing to live in the moment.  What are you choosing?   Today is all we have..take lessons from those who know how to live in the moment the best, our children. 

You have the choice and the "Responsibility" for your own life

Lately, I have been around people in my own life whom have been stuck where they are in life, in being "scared" of being vulnerable, "afraid" of the future and what it might bring and "have fear" of the what-if's in life.  So I have thought a great deal on this fear, the reactions we have to life and what our lives are to become.  And as I was thinking and coaching my last seminar, i starting speaking a great deal about the choices we make in life.  You see, we have the responsibility to live our lives any way we choose.  What do I mean by this?

Let's break down the word- Responsibility into it's components:
Respond Ability- Yes, the ability to respond.  You see, we all have the ability to respond, or essentially the "Choice" to follow our hearts desires, or not to.  We all have challenges placed in front of us all the time.  it is how YOU CHOOSE TO RESPOND to these challenges and situations that will dictate the outcome.  Let's use an example.

Let me use as I often do, the choices we make regarding our own health and wellness.  You see, we are all given 24 hours in a day.  We are all given the time we need to accomplish the things that we need to do.  Here is the challenge.  Are the choices you are making allowing you to progress towards your goals.  In the event of fitness, I spent a number of years working for a large globo-gym style gym convincing people they need to work out.  Wait a second, I had to CONVINCE people they needed to move their body in order to be healthy and well.  And here is what I thought about as I was doing so.  isn't it a choice to move your body?  Isn't it a choice to do what it takes to stay healthy.  Isn't it a choice to do the things that inherently we know are going to be good for our body?  How often in yopur own life, have you made the choice to put your own health on the back burner and go do something OTHER than take care of yourself.  Let me put it another way.  If you were given the choice between all natural food that you had to prepare and food that was already prepared for you, what would you choose?  (those of you whom are close to me know how I choose to live about 85-90% of the time)

It is your ability to respond to the hours given to you in any day that help to dictate the choices you make.  Let me also take this from another angle.  The choices we make to be emotionally attached to a situation, a person, or a feeling also are dependent upon YOUR CHOICE.  Let's say for example. someone close to you does something that completely destroys the trust you had in that person.  You now have the ability to respond in any way which you see fit.  You see, most people tend to carry that with them between themselves and that person forever.  But it is YOUR CHOICE to be open and learn to trust again.  You have to be willing and make the choice to put that past you.  You can make the choice to forgive and maybe not forget.  The ability to make a choice to get beyond an incident or situation comes down to personal responsibility.  the ONLY thing we control in life is our own thoughts, feelings and actions.  I once heard that change the things you can, and for those you can't change the way you look at them.  What great advice!  This can be true of our own emotions and feelings.  Choose to look a things differently when you are challenged.  Choose to change how you feel, choose a different emotion.  Choose a different path.  It is your responsibility!  It is your life!! MAKE IT WHAT YOU WANT!

Sometimes I see people who make a choice not to make a choice.  Realize this is again exercising your ability to respond to a given situation.  You are now choosing NOT to make a choice which inherently keeps you right where you are.  If you are comfortable with this and the storyline you tell yourself (your emotions) are copasetic with that "Choice" then by all means, don't make a decision.  One of the hardest things we do when we make a choice is face our own fears and stigma's associated with it.  It means things may be uncomfortable.  It means we may have to get out of our comfort zone and make progress or stay right where we are.  It means we may fail... but that is all part of the process.  It is all part of taking responsibility for who we are and what we want out of our lives!

The past is done, so live without regret, the future is tomorrow, so don't worry about it, Today is here and now, that's why it's called the present.  Open up the gift you have been given and choose to live the life you want.

Next topic... how to accept and create change in your life.

Everything else is just an excuse!

It has been said before that "You'll go after what you want, everything else is just an excuse".  This couldn't be more true.  As a coach, a mentor, a friend, an educator, a motivator, a father, a son, a brother, I have seen so many people in my life create excuses and not go after what it is they want.  Today, we want to break down the excuses and take a look at what is really going on and why it is we continue to create excuses in our lives to go after what it is we really want.
You see, there are many things we want in our lives and many things we want to go after.  I will use today as an example to you of what I ALMOST used as an excuse.  You see, I just got home from a Rescue Class this week.  In fact, it was an awesome physically demanding and challenging class.  We were completing some shoring yesterday (stuff to hold up structural collapses ) and in the VERY last event of the day, I decided I no longer wanted my thumb, so destroyed it with a hammer while I was holding on to a nail.  Immediately it swelled up, became purple and is EXTREMELY tender to the touch.  Now, if anyone has had this happen, it can be excruciating.. and in fact it IS excruciating.   So i almost let this stop me from doing what I love to do... Working out.  I had to stop, listen to what I was telling myself, and change the path I was going down to ensure I was on track with what I wanted and stop allowing myself to make excuses that it would hurt.  There was one point in the workout in which I hit the tip of my thumb.  Yes, it hurt, but my will to endure the workout was greater than the will to stop.
What's the point of all of this?  The point is, for what we really want in life, our fitness, our health, that dream career, that dream person, the dream car, whatever it is, we will go after it if we REALLY want it, otherwise we will find our own way out of it.  Let me use another example of this with the gym, in particular, CrossFit.
Most of the CrossFit Affiliates post their workouts the day before or the day of the actual workout.  Here's the great opportunity for you.. you can "Cherry pick" the workouts you want to do right?  But is that staying true to your ultimate goal of fitness, or is that you "picking" what you are good at and focussing on that?  If you TRULY wanted to become over-all better at fitness, then wouldn't you come in as many times as it takes to get there?   Wouldn't you pick the weaknesses as much as the strengths to work on?  If you truly wanted to improve over-all, wouldn't you not make the excuse of "eh... well, it looks like a tough workout today" and come in any way?  What is it that you are afraid of?
If you look to others for motivation and inspiration and they are achieving what you want to achieve, follow what they are doing, or at least ask them how they get through without listening to their inner excuse.  We all have it, that inner excuse.  It's just a matter of over-coming it.  It's the same with nutrition, with all other areas of life.  We all have the same 24 hours in a day, it;s how you lay it out and what you CHOOSE to do with it that will determine the outcome of what you want to do.  How good are you at making excuses and listening to them?  What is it that YOU want and how are YOU going to overcome those excuses?  Later, I will post on getting out of the comfort zone again and how to stop listening to those inner excuses.  Remember....

You'll go after what you want,  Everything else is just an excuse!!  (thanks Koshi for the quote)
 Jason had a pretty good fall during the West Sac Standoff, but got up and kept going.. after only CrossFitting for 3 weeks!!!! What an animal!  Thanks for your inspiration!

We are the problem, BUT we are also THE SOLUTION!

(A short one today) Have you heard that before?  We are our own problem, yet we are our own solution?

Have you EVER hit Rock Bottom in your life?  Have you ever faced challenges so big, you often wondered what more you could handle?  Have you ever been placed in a situation where you wondered what the message you were supposed to be receiving was and why you were receiving it?

Often in life, as we go through and on continuation of our discussion of ego, we put out vibrations into the universe that do NOT serve our higher purpose.  These thoughts continue to bring us anguish, hurt and pain, tough situations and almost a paralysis.  See here is the bad news- We are our own problem- but the great news is, we are our own solution as well.  Let me explain.

We all exist in this world in a solid form and interact with each other, but what we tell ourseles, the story we feed ourselves is what "we" think and feel.  For you see, our lives and the situations we have in our lives will come about whether we have emotions or not.  For our emotions are simply a storyline we tell ourselves about our surroundings.  Thus creating vibration in the universe creating more of the same.  So the way to CREATE change in your life is to recognize this, and then CHANGE the vibration YOU want and desire.  For you see, what you WANT out of life, at our darkest hour, we need to step out of our own way, become humble and turn to our higher source and put it out there what we want.  For me, I always start my day with a prayer of gratitude followed by my "I AM" statements for the day.  Once I have said my I Am's for the day, I start my day and allow the thoughts to resonate with me for what I am and where I want to be rather than what may be actually going on in my life.  This creates a better path for me to exist in today.  I also understand the areas of life I want to change and what I want to get out of my life.  I send out the vibrations and get myself out of the way.  I allow my ego to shut down for a moment and allow myself to be at peace in the moment, live for the here and now and manifest that which I want out of my life.  It is extremely powerful when you start to understand that what is going on in your life, you are attracting to your life.

Here is how I became my own solution rather than my problem (I did need an external push to get this process started) :

Prayer of Gratitude:
I am thankful today for the abundance in my life, the wealth for which I have been provided, the relationships which continue to flourish and the gift of this beautiful life.  I am blessed to have all of my financial needs met as well as to be able to provide for those I care about the most.  I am grateful I have the opportunity to create change in someone's life today, for the ability, the skills and the knowledge to affect one person per day.  I am grateful for the ability to help in any way possible.  I am thankful I am generous and kind.  Thank you for all that has been provided for in my life and allowing me to give back in some small way.

I AM statements:

I AM
loyal
caring
loving
gentle
calm
peaceful
a great coach
an incredible father
admirable
strong
faithful
A great friend
willing to help
understanding
compassionate

and it goes on.

These two tools are the first step in creating a solution for our "Problems" and when you start to understand these two powerful tools, you are on the way to CREATING the LIFE YOU WANT!

Go out and Create today!

We were born Perfect- How to change your outlook on your inner child!

Today, I had the amazing experience of attending a session at New Thought Community in Fresno and what an amazing place. First of all, the topic I have chosen to write about today has a lot to do with the way we talk to ourselves and some of the stuff I have mentioned before in a lot of the topics I have covered.  Today, I had an opportunity to hear from a different perspective, a little bit about how we talk to ourselves including "Contention" and resolution.  It was a different twist on what I have been trying to communicate with you, so today, I want to speak in a different fashion with you and portray what it was that l got out of today's message.

The Ego-Less Faces

In order to understand some of what I am going to talk about today, I want to start with this.  We are all born PERFECT.  Yes, I said it.. we are ALL BORN PERFECT.  Some of our religious leaders want you to believe you are born imperfect, but in reality if we stop and we look at the virtues of what children represent, we realize we are all perfect in every way at the day of our birth.  I want you to think throughout this post about what it is that kids represent and what it is they have that we as adults don't have.  And See we are going to delve into a subject today that is going to challenge our very existence, the very thread of what we know, the very voice inside our head that questions us, guides us, and tells us we aren't good enough. 

Wait a second..did I just say we have a voice inside of our head that says we aren't good enough?  YES i did... and why did I say that?  Because we ALL DO!!! I don't care who we are, there is a voice inside of you, your ego, that creates pride, and creates situations in your mind that will challenge the very fiber of what you stand for and try to stop you in every direction that may either be good or bad for you.. It will put confusion and pain in front of you to help you navigate this strange thing we call life. 

OK.. so let's stop for a minute and identify what ego is... It is defined in the dictionary as: (Taken from www.thefreedictionary.com) 

1. the self of an individual person; the conscious subject

2. (Psychoanalysis) Psychoanal the conscious mind, based on perception of the environment from birth onwards: responsible for modifying the antisocial instincts of the id and itself modified by the conscience (superego)

3. one's image of oneself; morale to boost one's ego

4. egotism; conceit

So what this is saying is that our "ego" is a vision of ourselves, how we are "conscious" of ourselves, and what we think of ourselves.  This then becomes very telling for our discussion today.  We all have an ego right??? YES, we do... It matters not what you think, you have an ego.  Your ego becomes the inner voice that talks to you in every situation, every event, every moment in life.  It is a corrective and a lot of times harsh voice.  It is the one that can create self doubt but also the one that can create the most confidence within us.  It now comes down to training this "ego" to say the things you want it to say.  So here today, let's take an example.

Since I would say many of you whom read this blog are probably CrossFitters or at least in the fitness arena, I am going to start there.  Our ego, especially in the fitness arena is something that tells us we can do anything.. BUT when we screw up a rep and we get a "no Rep" especially in a situation of competition, it is the FIRST voice that tells us we can NOT do it as well.  In this way, our egos are so destructive to us.  Our ego has a mind of it's own if you will.  It knows how to be positive and negative, but prefers to beat the snot out of us when we make a mistake.  Typically because we want to be better.  In CrossFit as an example, during a workout, Coach yells at you that your range of motion isn't correct- you think to yourself darnit.. I have been trying so hard to get correct range of motion, why can't i get it, why did I mess up, why did that happen... i suck. I'll never get this workout done, I can't because I am too lazy, I am so tired....  blahdee blah blah...  (How do I know this happens... because it has happened to me several times before)  All of a sudden, the workout becomes a mental game in which you have to fight with your "Inner voice" to figure out how to complete the task at hand and figure out how to Accomplish the goal.  In fact, JUST today while I was working out, the workout was challenging me in a way I hadn't been challenged (since yesterday) and I wanted so much to throw in the towel after two rounds, and my ego... you can't do this, and my outside voice I said Come on.. you got this!  Trying to overcome the self doubt inside coming from that little voice trying to make me avoid the pain.



What if, and just what if, we were able to stop in our tracks when something happened and instead of when we made a mistake we dwelled on it for minutes, hours, days, possibly even months, we were able to become unattached to the emotions, forgive ourselves, learn from the mistake, never do it again and move on??  Aren't we now talking about the innocence of a child, the passion they have for life.. an un-knowing of what might be societally unacceptable?   You see, it is the stigmas, the challenges and the values brought forth by yes, our parents, that help us to become the adults that we are.  The up-side is, that most of us turn out ok.  But that doesn't change the fact that we get in the way of ourselves more often than not.  We are fearful, our own worst critic and more often we jump on ourselves faster than anyone else ever could.  What this means is that our point of contention when we make a mistake can become an internal battle in which we struggle and maybe never recover from.  The challenge is how to we reduce our time of contention and enter into resolution quickly??

This has to do with training our mind how to speak to ourselves.  We have to realize first that we are human.  According to Alan today, he uses three steps- Forgive, Thanking, Loving.  In my world when I make a mistake, what I do is reflect, commit to change and continue.  Both are very similar in philosophy, just a difference in how we go about it.  The whole goal is to minimize the reflection time until later.  or in the case of forgive, to forgive as quickly as possible.  We have to be able to stop ourselves in our tracks and forgive ourselves for making a mistake and not getting where we want to right away.  You have to realize, forgiving ourselves for maybe not performing as well as we want at a competition or even in life, is ok.. did we give it our best shot?  did we give everything we had to the moment, because truly all we have is this moment..  Were we doing everything we could to get the best out of the situation rather than putting in less than full effort.  So what happens, is we talk to ourselves and fill our head with lies about ourselves.. tell ourselves we will never accomplish what we want.. and so it becomes our reality.  This is when you absolutely have to reverse that talk and say you CAN do whatever it is Rather than you can't!

This brings me to the topic of your inner child.  I know this is all very brief.  It is hard to touch on so many things while typing away and to keep you interested... yes.. I saw that yawn!

If you think about it for a moment, we all want to be children again, to enjoy and know joy like no other, to never know and understand what it means to react, but just to be able to Create within our tiny little minds what it is we want out of life.  When was the last time you just used your imagination to imagine you were a fighter pilot, or a princess, or a robot, or the president?  When was the last time that you did something that you didn't beat yourself up over it?  This is the essence of your inner child saying.. let me out.. I don't want to be judged, but have so much fun that it hurts.  I want to have fun because I was born perfect and along the way I learned challenges and fear and obstacles.  Somewhere along the way I heard that I wasn't good enough, or that I wasn't loved, or that I was never going to be a rock star.  And it shattered my dreams.. I just want to go back to the days when I never knew the impossibilities of life, but only the possibilities.  When I could make a wagon fly, or I could make my hand into many different animals and laugh and giggle and just enjoy how life happens.

How amazing would your life if for just one day, you let yourself be a kid again?  Remember we have kids for a reason.. to remember who we were when we had fun.. and to remind us of what life could be like if we just let go and became unattached and had fun!

Describe for us in the comments an experience you had in which you felt you stifled your inner child and what did you do to overcome that?

more to come!

Getting out of your comfort zone. A quick one!

Every so often in life, we find ourselves in situations, challenges and events that may either keep us in our comfort zone, or if they require us to step out of our comfort zone, we won't end up doing them because it is challenging, scary, or even can be "hurtful".  Today I truly want to spend some time writing about these times in which our comfort zone becomes a limiting factor in us exploring all of the possibilities in our lives, and prevents us from moving forward.

Definitely out of MY comfort zone, but being in a tight spot is for most of us!

There is a great quote by Teddy Roosevelt that says:

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doers of deeds could have done them better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly... Who knows great enthusiasm,s, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at his worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory or defeat"

This quote always speaks volumes to me when I am looking at a project or event in my life that I look at and say it is overwhelming, or it is a scary place to be, or I have fear, or it just seems daunting.  I would rather step into a role of giving my all to every attempt rather than sit back and watch life go by.  But this requires leaving the zone of comfort and ensuring that the things that we are doing are in accordance with our dreams, goals and being true to ourselves without fear.  Remember we have talked about fear, and what it does to us.

Fear keeps us in our comfort zone.  It is one of those things that comes into us in every situation.  I own a CrossFit gym and have recently been working with people whom have been filled with nothing but self-doubt and fear.  When I look at them with confidence and demonstrate to them they have it in them to complete an exercise or a workout, the fear starts to subside, but they always look at me as if it will be the worst experience in the world.  It is their self talk that is putting the fear or doubt in them.  This is when it is MOST important to break out of your comfort zine, to push through, to burn a little, to drive a little harder, to dream a little more, to get out of your head, to get into the mindset of I can rather than I can't, to put aside the doubts we have of ourselves and start believing in ourselves more than we ever have!  It is times like this such as at a CrossFit workout when you have to put aside what you think you know of yourself and stop existing in that comfort zone and BLOW THROUGH THE DOORS in a way in which power has never been exerted before!!!

Now think for a second if we approached life in the same way, what would you accomplish and what would you do?  What are some of the things that when you look at them, they keep you in the comfort zone?  What are some of the things you would do if you didn't know fear.  What are some of the things you could accomplish if only you could get out of that comfort zone.  What are the things that keep you "Comfortable" rather than pushing for what you want and deserve in life?  We all deserve so much out of life, but we allow ourselves to stay "Comfortable" because it is easier.  Is that what your burning desire is, to just exist and be comfortable, to be lead Rather than to lead, to continuously allow others to think for you and believe everything that is put in front of you, or do you want to question it, come up with your own ideas and challenge others to change the way they think, do you want to be one of the herd or do you want to turn and walk the other direction because you know that's what will serve your higher purpose?  It's all up to you.  If you want to progress anywhere in life, you have to grow and growth comes from stepping out of your comfort zone and taking your toe and dipping it in the water.  It all starts with ONE step, one toe, one moment, one action, one thought, one event.  The question is how long will you wait until you are ready, and allow yourself the challenge of getting out of the comfort zone??

Attitude- What role does it play in our lives?

Have you heard this before:

"Attitude not aptitude determines your altitude in life"

I just recently began reading "The Difference Maker" by John Maxwell again.  And It reminded me of the number one thing in our lives that will help us to determine how we can react or how our ability to respond to any given situation directs us towards our programmed response- Our attitude.

How many times have you woken up and felt like you "woke up on the wrong side of the bed".  Well have you ever noticed how that thought process shapes the rest of your day, what you tell yourself throughout the day and how your ability to respond to each and every situation changes?  How many times have you stopped yourself when you are having one of those days and "changed your attitude"?

I once heard in a management seminar the following-
If your job sucks, and your car sucks, and your spouse sucks and your cat sucks, and your house sucks- then you suck.  What does this mean????  Really?

As I was reading through Conversations with God today, a quote that stuck out to me was:
"It begins with you.  Everything.  All things.  You want the world to change, change things in your own world" (page 240)

This right here is the heart of everything we have been talking about over the last few posts- and it really can come down to attitude and how we look at our own world.

Have you ever noticed, there are people in our lives that seem to be eternal optimists?  Have you ever thought that maybe they look at life in a different light than others, not really focussing on seeing the negativity, not allowing the group consciousness of our society and the challenges we may all face as a human race affect them in such a way it brings them down?  How do you think it is they stay in the positive happy optimistic world they exist in with all of this turmoil, challenge and plight in the world.
It is simply their attitude.

Our attitude, whether you think it or not, is brought on by some of the very things we have discussed in this blog already- how we talk to ourselves, our beliefs we tell ourselves, and the ability to respond to the opportunities presented to us.  Wait0 did I just say to the opportunities presented to us?  YES.
Every event and experience we have is an opportunity for us to respond, an opportunity for us to have an "attitude adjustment", an ability to respond in any way we see fit.  

picture courtesy of: http://www.altdaily.com/features/news/opinion-news/a-new-transpo-option-part-one.html

Let me give you an example of an attitude adjustment/opportunity for growth and the ability to respond.  For those of you whom live in congested areas where there is a lot of traffic (for I don't... the most traffic i deal with is... well.. there is none although when I travel, i experience it)  it can take its toll on your mindset, agreed?  I would say that people react in a few different ways- I know when I am in a place of the challenged attitude , traffic to me is the worst thing in the world.. it stops my forward progress and makes me impatient, and frustrated.  What would happen if when I am in the challenged attitude that is what it is, we look at it as part of life, something we can't control and just take a deep breath and settle in for the "ride" if you will.  Doesn't it make sense that our attitude adjustment in that experience would then allow us to look at it differently?  and we would be in a much different altitude if you will? What if we went to this place instead in our mind:

What would your reaction and attitude be if you thought differently.  You see what happens is when we put our challenged attitude out into our thoughts, our thoughts create vibrations within the universe that respond with more of the same that we are putting out there.  You see, our attitude is EVERYTHING we exist in, it determines how we travel through life, it determines where we go and how the mechanics are laid out in front of us.  I can speak from personal experience in so many instances that when I have had a less than positive attitude that things in my life seem to continue to go the wrong direction, but when I start to look at the glass as half full again and determine that it has been a focus on the less than positive attitude I normally carry in life that is bringing with it a challenge for me, that life seems to play itself out in a most positive fashion.

So what is it about these people that makes them so "Optimistic".  It simply put, is the way they CHOOSE to look at the world.  Our attitude is a choice we make every day.  It is the way we choose to live, choose to believe, choose to think. It is trainable.  For those of you whom have what we would call a less than positive attitude, all it takes is to start with ONE positive thought or action per day.. and then it becomes two, then it becomes three... and so on.   Pretty soon, you will see that the world isn't such a bad place after all.  It is only then, that if each and every one of us does this, we will affect change in the world and change the attitude of the human race.  It starts inside each one of us and creates everything!

I will continue with this topic another day, but for now- realize that attitude is everything.  Start to look at what your attitude affects throughout your day.  What things do you notice that your attitude is affecting in your day?

The Present is a Gift- Relish it!

I have recently read a few books, Conversations with God, The Last Lecture, For One More day, Today Matters, and several other books.  There continues to be a common and recurring theme in each and every one of these books.  It comes up over and over that we need to live in the present moment and exist in this moment.

My most recent experiences in life and the people I have run across have demonstrated this to me so well.  The people whom I have attracted into my life in every aspect have taught me a lesson about this very action, this very ability, this very emotional journey.

You see, many of us, we worry so much about our bills, our car payments, our mortgage, our lives, that we forget to stop and LIVE in the moment... we forget to stop and just RELISH what is at this very second occurring in our lives.  Let me explain.

If we always react to the past or the future, we will miss what is right in front of us.

How many of you have often been in a situation and Reacted to that situation based on things others have said, done or experienced before?  Heck, how many of you have been in a situation or environment in which you REACTED to something that has occured in YOUR past, an experience or a feeling? In reality, we must detach ourselves completely from all previous experience and knowledge of past in order to truly live in the moment and enjoy that moment for all that it's worth.  So many times, we look a the moment and while we are existing in the moment, we are allowing our mind to REACT to the situation rather than allowing our souls to CREATE in the moment our current feelings and emotions.  We are simply put, trying to create a reality that does not exist in this moment, react based on what it is that we think to be true in part because of that which we have either previously thought or experienced in a similar setting.

WHOA!!!  Did you get all of that?  OK.. so I understand it's a hard concept to understand, but let's dig a little deeper.  Let me use this quote from Conversations with God:
"TO Change your response to anything, be in the present moment- the moment that was sent to you and was what it was before you had a thought about it... In Other Words, Be Here Now, not in the past or the future.  The past and the future can only exist in thought.  The pre-sent Moment is the Only Reality. Stay There!!!" (Conversations with God, Book 2 -Page 218 of the full version)

Take Time to enjoy the present moment and what exists here and Now!

OK, I think that explains it in much simpler terms.  We often rely on our thoughts to create our experiences and our reactions to them, however when you use the mind to dictate what the moment truly is saying, we Will use either our past (which doesn't exist at this moment) or our thoughts of the future (which also does not exist at this moment) to react to the experience we are living rather than create the experience for which the moment was intended.  Maybe it was happiness, maybe it was love, maybe it was joy, maybe it was just existing.  We use our mind to change our perception of the moment.

I am here to say to you today in order to truly live in the moment, you MUST let go of not only your past, BUT your future as well.  We get so stunned when we think of what could happen or what has happened.  It throws you into emotional turmoil and clouds the creative energy we have to respond to the situation.  It stunts the soul's ability to communicate with us at a deeper level in terms of feelings.  It challenges us.. and we utilize fear or other emotions to in certain situations to tell ourselves this moment can't be right for us, or is something different than what it actually is.  This can't be happening to me... how often have you said that to yourself and created disbelief in your own life, or even thought to yourself- "It's too good to be true" in a given situation or experience.  This in part is due to the "past" and Future" thoughts you have had or think you will have rather than just living for the present moment and existing there.

Our minds are very powerful in helping us to think that what we feel are truths.  But remember our truths are what we tell ourselves.  Our feelings are like a Northern Star to that.  When we live in the present, we simply allow our feelings to exist for the moment we are living in.  Our minds can over-power our feelings very easily and give us a false sense of what we are truly feeling.  A good example of this (especially for CrossFitters) is a workout that you know is going to be challenging- (in most cases for CrossFitters it would be fran!)  What did that bring up in your mind?  What emotions did that evoke?  Did it evoke a negative response?  Did it evoke a challenge within you to complete the workout?

What if I told you that the next time you complete that particular workout, it will become easier than you ever thought.  You will get better, you will have no issues or problems with it.  What if I told you that workout was just a quick little workout that meant nothing but that you are awesome.  Would you have a different view of it?  Would you look at it in a different light?  Now can you see how powerful our mind can be in these situations?  Can you see that living in the present takes letting go of everything we think to be true to just enjoy the moment as it exists?  To just live for the Here and Now?  Does it make sense that each moment in time is given to us as a gift to enjoy for what it is... the moment.  My statement to you is WHO CARES what has happened in the past.  WHO CARES what will happen in the future....

For most of us, it is challenging to let go of the past, challenging to let go of our experiences and just experience that which we are in at the moment.  But I URGE you, this is what is.  The moment is now.  You are reading this blog for a reason.  You are formulating ideas and thoughts in a creative thought process by utilizing the here and now rather than by coming in with pre-conceived notions (well at least I hope so)

My suggestion for all of you is to stop living in the past, the future and really relish the moment, pay attention to the moment.  It is all we have, it is such a gift and to let our past or future intentions dictate what we experience here and now, is a great dis-service to our lives.  Live for the moment and create the feelings and responses you want to create in your own life.  Create your experience based on existing right now.. not based on what has happened in the past.

Here's to the present. Live for this very second and enjoy the Now!!!

The mental edge- talking to yourself, what are you REALLY saying?

So we have been speaking of belief and how to believe in yourself.  today, i want to expand a little bit on what it is that we say to ourselves and how that affects you.

As I mentioned in a previous post, we all have something called a mindscreen.  Let's imagine for a moment what that might look like.  What would your mindscreen look like?  a blank white screen like in the theatres, a stand up one from your classrooms at school?  Or would it look like a big IMAX screen in which you could see and experience every detail?

Representation of a MindScreen

Image taken from: at.movingdesign.com.  

While this is an important concept to understand, it is not the point of today's post.  today's post is about what is it that we are saying to ourselves that may or may not be putting us on the path towards our desires, goals and dreams.  Today is about asking the question "How do you talk to yourself?"

I would venture to say that many times in life, you hear a voice, an inner voice, that tells you what you can and can't do, what you are or aren't going to do, and in it's own reality what you are or aren't capable of.  I am here to challenge that inner voice today and really help you take a look at how you are talking to yourself.

Our self-talk is a powerful determinant of what we get out of life.  How often have you been in a situation or a challenge and told yourself that you believe in something, or you can accomplish something, or you can achieve great things?  Then again, how often in life have you told yourself you don't believe in something, you don't think you can, or you don't think you are meant to achieve great things?   It is these words or thoughts that play into action in the universe.  remember there is a common theme throughout these first few posts about, what you tell yourself is what you become,  What you believe in about yourself will become your reality.  And yes, it is a recurring theme because so many of us need to hear the message of it.

Let's examine a situation I recently found myself in where I had to change the way i was talking to myself.  Recently I have been in a great deal of challenging situations in which it created issues of negativity and me listening to others and their lack of belief in what might be possible in a certain situation in my life.  I allowed this to get into my own thoughts and it made the challenges and obstacles that I didn't believe were there become more apparent.  I allowed myself to tell myself it was challenging, it was difficult, and that the situation was not the right situation for me.  I allowed the self talk to tell me where I didn't want to go rather than stopping myself and stop my self-limiting belief from coming into play.  i allowed myself to listen to what it was that was outside influence and not truly following what my heart had to say.  I followed what thoughts I was putting out there about i Can't rather than I can.  i put out there that it was too hard rather than it will work.  i told myself this can't happen to me or I didn't deserve this, when in reality I did.

I have recently been around people who are talking to themselves in a less than positive fashion and felt compelled to discuss what it means when we talk to ourselves.  Every time we say we can not, it reinforces that we can not.  Every time we say want instead of going to, we encourage more want rather than encouraging action to be taken.  Every time we say to ourselves we should rather than we will or i am going to, it again creates a lack of action.  You have to be careful about your selection of words within your conscious (and even subconscious) mind.  the words Can't, won't or shouldn't are all words that if you choose to talk to yourself with them, can destroy even the most beautiful of potential experiences in your life.  they can damage what we think of ourselves as well as the potential to be great.  they can limit what we think and keep our minds closed to opportunities.

What are you choosing to say to yourself,  what is it that when you look at a situation you think to yourself.  Do you CHOOSE to believe in yourself or do you CHOOSE to doubt ?

Your task if you choose to accept it after reading today's post is to write down a day's worth of statements you say to yourself.  I would encourage you to look at each situation that comes up throughout the day and write down the thoughts that come across as you experience the situation and the feelings that go with your thoughts.  I would also encourage you to allow yourself to talk how you would normally talk to yourself, and after looking at it, start to make adjustments if needed.

How does one create belief?

This box, The "You Got This" Box has become a symbol for so many people at the gym I own of belief.  It has become a symbol of how we talk to ourselves and a symbol of what it means to believe in yourself.  So often, we go through these events in our life that knock us down, hurt us, challenge us and more often than not, we create a belief not in what we CAN do but more on what we CAN'T do.


Therein lies the challenge in hwo to believe in yourself.  I am going to venture to say there are steps to believeing in yourself.

Step 1:  Look at your mindscreen.  We all have a mindscreen.  Our mindscreen is where we create the images of who we are, who we want to be and if we are NOT who we want to be how to get there.  Our mindscreen is a very powerful tool in the process I will mention later, visualization.  One of the things we have to do is analyze what our mindscreen is telling us about ourselves.  Is it telling you that you are doing the right hting and going down the right path?  Is it telling you that what you want to do is in accordance with what you are doing?

Step 2: Attitude of Gratitude:  Simply put, be thankful for that which you have and that which you will receive.  Be thankful for all of the little things in life, the small moments in time which are teachable moments, the moments in time in which you have an opportunity to learn who you are at that moment.  Be thankful for everything you have, or want.  Be thankful for the great relationships in your life, or the amazing house you live in, or the gym you own, or the business you run, or the ideal job you will get.  Be thankful for everything.  Being grateful creates feelings of happiness and helps you to create positive feelings which put your thought waves in a greater vibration for the univers(God) to respond.

Step 3- Borrow belief if you need to:  This one is an interesting concept.  When we start out in any new activity or realm, we have to borrow another's belief in ourselves because we may not believe we can do it.  Lean on others who believe in you, have faith in you and know that you are on the right path to help build your belief.  There is a saying that says "fake it til you make it".  I find this to be true in belief.. for the simple reason of the next 2 steps:

Step 4: Pay attention to what you are telling yourself : Listen to how you are talking to yourself.  Are you telling yourself good or bad?  Are you telling yourself you believe or you don't believe?  Are you telling yourself you can or you can't?  Are you telling yourself you are valuable?  These are indicators of your belief in yourself.  It is important to listen to these statements.  Start telling yourself you believe in who you are and chances are you will eventually.

Step 5: visualize!  Use your mindscreen to visualize and feel what it feels like to believe in yourself.  Visualize how good it feels to love yourself unconditionally for who you are.  Visualize what it feels like to go after what you want.  Visualize what it feels like to have whatever you want and the feelings associated with that.

And finally- BELIEVE in who you are.  We were all created perfectly.  When your weaknesses can actually be strengths and your strengths can actually be weaknesses, you will realize more about yourself than you ever have.  Use your strengths to their advantages but also continually work on your weaknesses.  Get better at what you aren't good at and eventually you will be good at so much.  It will be one of the most powerful journeys you have taken.

It's ok to seek help in your belief.  I encourage it.  I had to reach out recently to help believe in myself again.  I lost belief in who I was and what I was doing and realized I wasn't telling myself what I really wanted.  i was reacting based on what others wanted and how I was reacting was based on others reactions to the happenings in my life.  I lost alot by doing this and am now not worried about what other think, or believe of me, for I have belief in myself.

Remember through all of this- You Got This!