Our minds are an incredible thing. With our access and our ability to think, we have created so many options, successes, pathways to get out of our challenges, but in the fact we have created this, we are absolutely capable of creating obstacles, challenges and ways to set ourselves up for disaster. Our mind is the most powerful tool on the planet.
You see, we use only a small percentage of our brain actively, even subconsciously. We have yet to understand the mechanics of how things work, but we understand this to be true. What we tell ourselves becomes our reality.
You see, that's the trick, "The Secret" if you will. That we become our thoughts.
Yes, I quoted the famous movie and book, but not only that, I have also quoted so many successful individuals in that statement. Simply put, we become what we think. This is paramount in understanding change in our world.
We often become imprisoned by our thoughts. We live our life day to day, form crisis to crisis and that begets crisis. we live paycheck to paycheck and never understand why when we think there are too many bills that another one pops up. Many of us ponder or even stop to think about what it would be like if we weren't living that way. and we wonder why it continues to pile up.
We become imprisoned by what people think, how they perceive us, what we think we can NOT achieve, rather than focussing on what he CAN achieve and not worrying about the results of other people's thoughts. Successful people have figured out that it matters not what others think, but what they, themselves, think. Their thoughts become actions. And in that right actions become their life.
So how does this apply? To you, to you who may not be able to see it now. To those of you out there that are stuck in the cycle, the rat race, the treadmill we know as our life?
Here are 10 things I have learned over time with my situations, my experiences and my time as a coach.
1- SET GOALS. they should be HUGE goals, I mean FUCKING HUGE!!!!! They should be so massive they scare you. If they don't, then go back, re-evaluate, change them and make them YOURS. OWN your goals. make them a part of your essence, your being, your existence. They will become so engrained in your mind that they will just happen
2- WHO CARES what others think. People are inherently critical. We are taught to say no at a young age. This means we are taught at the most basic level that we are NOT supposed to do things. What if we said YES from the outset? Aren't we supposed to learn lessons along the way? Others will ALWAYS have something to say about your life, what you choose and what direction you are headed. FUCK THEM- it's YOUR life. You know what you are after. When they drive you into a state where you are in a corner cowering, take a STAND, and fight back for your thoughts. Don'r WORRY what happens to them. They run THEIR life, you run YOURS. You are the only person with your thoughts. Everyone else will assume and make judgements. who cares.
3- TAKE ACTION- There are so many signs pointing in the direction of where we should be going. Alot of times, we ignore the signs, the BIG ASS signs that are right in front of us. How many times have we heard of people trying to find love when it was right in front of them? Or how about when you have a decision to make that's not easy, and once you make it, it seems everyone comes out of the woodworks and says "we were hoping you would make that decision".
one of our biggest challenges to taking action on things we KNOW we see right in front of us is our fear. We are afraid that the decision will leave us in a state of action and then we won't know what to do. It is this uncertainty that creates our response as humans... the fight or flight. it's scary, unkown and uncomfortable.
4- BE COMFORTABLE WITH UNCOMFORTABLE- our moments of greatest growth typically occur when our goal is WAY Bigger than what we ever imagined, or we at our most uncomfortable state. Imagine for a moment, you are getting into a pool. It's the heat of summer and the pool seem cold. you stick your toe in the pool, it seems extremely cold, but then you adapt, and it feels ok. Then you stick your leg in. At first, it seems so cold you don't want to move. When you do, you get shivers because it seems so cold, but then, your body adapts, and finally you figure "fuck it", plunge head first into the pool and for JUST A MOMENT, it is uncomfortable, and after a few laps in the pool, it feels like you have been in there all day long and you have no issues... This is much like the events in our life. Many times we are so scared of the cold, that we never take the plunge into the water. we are afraid of giving up the warmth of our environment to attempt to tackle the cold of the water. Get comfortable with it... it is what we need for growth.
5- BE GRATEFUL- be grateful for the smallest moments you may have. Have an "attitude of Gratitude" for all of the goodness in your life and that of the goodness yet to come. Gratitude begets greatness. We need to recognize that we have been given our opportunity to have greatness in our life through accepting the greatness that exists within us each and every day. Being grateful comes from a place of humility in which we recognize that each and everything is special in our lives. When we recognize that it is special, we become mor einvolved in creating more special moments, events, people and things in our life.
6- GIVE ALOT, Take little- This is one of the hardest lessons I have learned throughout my life. I am a generous person by nature. It is easy to take givers for granted, because they seem to be giving and giving and never stop. But this comes from a deep place within their soul in which they understand this concept. What if we ALL gave TWICE as much as we took from others. What if we were to stop and truly consider that we could CHANGE the world by giving back to others rather than trying to always look out for number one? It's a tough concept, but easy to apply. Pay it Forward is a GREAT concept for giving, but so is smiling at people and saying hello.
7- Build a HUMAN relationship- In an age of technology where technology replaces human connection, we are so concerned about our Facebook status, our twitter tweet, our instagram photo, that we have forgotten the human connection. there really ARE humans out there that when we put our electronic devices down to pay attention to, actually engage in discussion and remind of us why we are on this planet. Next time you are out with your friends, try to turn your phone off, or heck just enjoy the moment with those friends. the human in front of you is very deserving of your attention and actually deserves better than for you to be buried in your phone.
8- Look inside yourself often, and face your demons, because otherwise they will come haunt you. this is a HUGE step in becoming great and I think one that MOST industry leaders may ignore or put aside. We all have demons, scitomas and thought processes. we all have pasts, and have a history which helps us make the decisions we make on a daily basis. We have to recognize this and accept that part of ourselves. A lot of us will try to ignore that we have that past or not even really be open about that past with others. But when we are quiet with ourselves, we can help determine which path of action to take and what course to follow. Allow yourself to feel what is going on at the core. remember that our feelings are the pulse of our soul. Feelings determine for us what is right and wrong for our life.
9- Listen twice as much as you talk. THIS is a huge one for me too. I LOVE to talk, but I can't tell you that I learn the most when I shut my mouth and just let someone talk. we all do. People LOVe to talk about themselves. One of the abilities of a great leader is the ability to teach people to lead. In order to do that, we need to learn about them. People whom have found their greatness are "sharers" of others stories. They often stop, listen to another person, ask a question or to to elicit a response, and then at some point can introduce that person and tell their story.
10- Be humble. this was another huge lesson I had to swallow. I am a very confident individual, and often borderline ego. However, I have learned that ego is not the best course of action, and can create turmoil. It is important to realize we are only as good as we are at this moment. But it's not our job to tout how "good" we are. Let the results speak for themselves. Let your life speak for itself, because at the end of the day, ego can get us into trouble, where recognition of our limits, but having the ability to push past them is a HUGE and incredible trait to have. this is where inspiration comes from, not Ego.
I hope at least some of this sinks in. Am I right? I am not trying to be right or wrong, but simply trying to share with you some thoughts I have been processing today about life. May your day be filled with Greatness. More thoughts to come.
Coach K
