Attitude of Life

Attitude more than aptitude determines your altitude in life. - Unknown Author


I have heard that quote a few times.  For those of you who have been patiently waiting for a new post, I am sorry it has taken so long to write.  I have been enjoying every moment with the three most important people in my life- my children.  So it is today that I have to discuss attitude.

Our lives are greatly determined by our attitude. When it hurts, do you stop, or do you turn it off, keep going and push through? Do you give your best or do you back off? Do you trust you can or question it? Do you KNOW you have more, or do you let yourself just stop. I would rather die giving all I have to life than quit giving up in what I believe I am able to do!


This was one of my recent facebook post.  I am convinced that our attitude greatly determines what happens to us in life.  Our attitude determines how we react to given situations.  You see, our lives are stories with emotions we tell ourselves.  This goes with everything we have talked about in this blog.  We talk a great deal about success, getting what you want out of life, but it begins with our attitude. 


Have you ever noticed the days you may wake up and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is some sort of expletive deleted because you woke up late, or you couldn't get your car to start, or the red lights just keep piling up.  The funny thing about that is, the more frustrated you get, the more the universe will respond with.. guess what.. frustration.  


This gets down to the core of the law of attraction.  You see, John Maxwell explains in his book.. "The Difference Maker" how much attitude affects everything we do! The outcome of our day, the words we say, the mood we are in, the people we meet, the moments in our life can all be changed through our attitude.  


We determine how we are going to react to any given situation.  We are the ONLY person who can determine our own attitude.  If we determine that there are things in our life that suck.. for instance, if your car sucks, and your job sucks, and your boyfriend or girlfriend sucks, or your house suck, then maybe YOU suck.  That's an ATTITUDE.  It simply takes a switch in how you deal with life or what you tell yourself.  


When we simply put the thoughts of a smile out, the universe will respond by aligning situations throughout the day to make us smile.  It will out people in our lives and attract the things we need to encourage that positive attitude and keep us going.  when our negativity vibes out there, we will receive just that, more negativity. 


I am going to leave this here for now and come back to this topic in a bit.  Remember for now, Our attititude is one of the greatest assets we have and will completely determine how we react to any given situation.

Impossible becomes possible when you simply- Believe!

So This weekend I had an opportunity to stop, smell the roses and have a chance to spend time with the three little lights of my eyes as well as good friends and people close to me.  tIt was an amazing weekend for me to reflect.  I was able to take a walk on my own a few times when every one went to sleep.  I was also able to hold my sons hand, and take him for a walk, catch a tadpole with him and really just enjoy the quality time with him.  I also got to see my daughter become an instant entrepeneur as she created her t-shirt design.  I saw my littlest one become an instant friend of other smaller kids and have a blast while he was sharing his heart and energy with others.  Even as I sit here typing, they are here, sleeping quietly, looking innocent and powerful in their own light.  SO I had time to reflect for a moment on what it is that makes the ordinary turn into the extraordinary, the simple turn into the advanced, the worker turn into the leader, the heart turn to solid gold, the taker turn into the giver, the impossible become the possible and the unbelievable become the believable.

The first thing I was thinking about as I was looking at the moonlight shimmering down over the lake was how amazing it is that we exist in such an amazing and powerful world.  We are here in tumultuous times with opportunites presented to us all around.  The challenge is in the way people think, not in the situation we are in.  I sat listening quietly to the lake, contemplating what things I have accomplished in my life, what I have turned away from, what types of opportunities have presented themselves to me and just sat with them for a moment and was grateful for the opportunites that I have had the ability to recognize and to believe in them when maybe many others didn't or wouldn't.  I looked for a moment in all of the people who have been attracted into my life, and gave thanks for the powerful and inspirational people, namely all of you, whom have touched my life and gave a silent thanks for the opportunity to strneghten bonds between friends, and to be able to have the ability to be open and share.   You see, before you can recognize an opportunity tha tis laid out before you, you have to recognize those that are already in your life.  The best way I have seen to recognize those opportunites is to give thanks for them.

Once you have given thanks, it is then time to work on belief.  And when I say belief, I don't mean like the belief in the tooth fairy, or belief in Santa Clause, but belief in yourself and your abilities to achieve.  As a coach, I am often put in situations in which people have a lack of belief or doubt the ability they have in themselves.  It is often my goal or my "job" as a coach to create belief in themselves.  And wait, you saym you have to CREATE belief in someone?  Yes.  We have to create belief in ourselves.  You see, we inherently as kids have nothing but belief that we can do anything- meaning that we can leap off a huge tree and survive, we can swim any amount of miles, we can be the president, we can be where the wild things are, we can be anything we want to be and literally do anything we want to do.  This goes back to a few posts ago when I talked about how perfect children are.  Their belief in being able to do anything until proven differently and then determination even if they can't is a HUGE lesson we often forget and have to "remember" for ourselves. At one time, each and every one of us believed in ourselves.  Our parents, our life, our teachers, those who were "Leading" us in our own lives began to create some of the emotions associated with how we feel about ourselves.  And then we continue to build upon that into adulthood.

Let me use an example of my kids versus another set of kids I saw this weekend camping.  My kids showed me a rattlesnake this weekend, so I followed my son down the path and had him point out where he saw the snake.  I didn't act in disbelief but I wasn't quite expecting to see anything when I got there.  It was one of those situations where as a dad.. you say "OK, let's see together and find out"  So I followed them down and sure enough there was a baby rattler right there to the side of the trail, although it took us a while to see it.  And there was another kid coming down with his dad a little after who said to his kid something derogatory in nature towards his "personality" and calling him ... well let's just say it wasn't the nicest thing.  So you see, when we are talked to as kids, by those whom lead us, it shapes us, it guides us and lays down the foundation for who you are today.

This doesn't mean that if someone didn't believe in you as a child you can't gain belief.  In my experience as a coach, I have seen many instances where you can "Borrow" belief.  I have had to in many instances in my own life, "Borrow" Belief from my peers, coaches, teachers.  I have also been there to give belief to people that they can go beyond what they think they can do, and achieve the once "Impossible" task and make it through without harm!  This is one of the wonderful things about our lives.  You see, we are all coaches, teachers, students, motivators, educators, in need, able to give, and have varying and different degrees of belief.  The beautiful thing about this is at any given moment we can stop and lean on someone else if we need to to borrow the belief or the lack of fear they may have for the task we are feeling is impossible.  I feel this is the FIRST step if you are lacking belief and are wanting to take on what you feel is impossible.

Let's take a look at the title of this .  The Impossible becomes possible when you simply- Believe!  When we Create in our life, we are in a state of belief.  We believe in our mind what we want to believe.  If we limit ourselves to our "Self Limiting beliefs", then the ability to do anything really does get hindered.  I think the best example I have seen of self-limiting beliefs are in the CrossFit facility with the "Box Jump".  the goal of this ecercise is of course to.. jump on a box.  For some reason, 16" can scare the pants off the toughest and most fit individual coming into the facility.  It is a MENTAL game we play with ourselves that keeps us from believing.  We create stories in our mind that tell us we won't make it or we may get hurt.  We attach emotions the the "FEAR" of failure and become "destined for failure" rather than Destined for Greatness.  We are capable of so much more in our lives than we give ourselves credit for.  The problem is NOT that we can NOT, but that we CHOOSE not to do the things we want in our own lives.  this simply comes down to that one word which is belief.

Leaders are created in their own minds.  This means that, yes, there are s certain set of human characteristics that "Leaders" possess, but when it comes down to it, Leaders in life typically have the ability to BELIEVE they are doing the right thing, whether they are or not.  Leaders know how to CREATE belief in others.  This is in my opinion one of the BEST qualities of a leader.  The ability to look at someone, see the potential within and help that person recognize where their strengths are and help them to work on their weaknesses becomes a huge ability in Leadership roles.  Sometimes Leaders need to use this to their advantage to help accomplish a common goal.  Leaders recognize when belief is wavering as well.  Look at some of the stories of the best leaders not only in history, but in movies.  The best stories, like Braveheart where William Wallace creates belief in his troops because he recognized the wavering of the army, become great examples of leadership.  We MUST create belief in our own lives, belief in ourselves as leaders in order to achieve that which may seem impossible.

As my eyeballs hang in the balance, Let me wrap up tonights' post which I will continue later this week with.. to CREATE the Impossible, you must BELIEVE in the impossible.

What are some things YOU have found impossible that you have overcome?

Change what you can, and if you can't, then change how you look at it!

So today, I had an amazing day.  i spent time with three incredible children that always remind me of truly what I desire in life, and what it means to have unbridled joy and undeterred energy filled with passion, excitement, joy and unconditional love.  You see, more of us should look into what things are going on with kids.  we try to shape them to fit the societal norm, and make the world in their mind fit the way we see it... when in reality, we need to take a look in the mirror and see what it is that we might be "screwing up" in our own minds.. Yes, I said "Screwing up" on purpose. 

For things you can't change, gain a new perspective. 

Image from: http://www.toxel.com/inspiration/2008/05/18/3d-sidewalk-chalk-art/

You see, we are so often so intent on changing things to fit our lives or to fit our ideals, that we get frustrated, lost, angry, and essentially "Lose" ourselves in whatever it is we might be trying to change rather than stopping and gaining perspective.  I think we have all had experiences in life in which we have gotten wrapped up in a situation that when we stop to look at it, we finally realize that MAYBE it wasn't necessarily the situation that was frustrating or the challenge laid before us that was frustrating, but how we were looking at it, the perspective we gave it, the meaning we originally intended for it to have in our lives.  this is where the ability to grow, adapt and change comes into play.  

You see, we as humans have the inane stubborn ability to look at life the way we WANT to see it and not necessarily at life as how REALITY is presenting itself.  We gain perspective on the things we hold true and near to our heart and then no one can change our mind about how we feel about it or what we tell ourselves about it.  

Take for example,. a situation at work.  You probably enjoy going to your job every day, get up, throw your hands in the air, jump for joy and go "YES I have the PRIVILEGE of going to work today"  Right???  (I know I do.. because I happen to love all three careers I have chosen)   What do you mean you don't?  Why not? 

So let's look a the title of the post.  "Change what you can, and if you can't change it then change the way you look at it".  OK So let's apply this to your job then.  So there are really two choices if you are discontent with your job as I see it.  If you are NOT happy with your current situation, what can you do about it?  either Change it (in other words, change your job) or accept what is and look at in a different way.  Maybe actually be thankful you have a job in this economy, look at it as providing for you and your family, and be grateful your skills are being used in whatever manner they may be used.  This can come down to a change in attitude from an attitude of supplication to an attitude of gratitude.  

Wait- Go back on that one Kev- What?  OK, so most of us have an attitude of I deserve this, or I should be doing that.  Where we can help ourselves to start to look at things differently is by being grateful for what it is that we do have.  Start with this- When you wake up, what are the things, people, situations, emotions in your life you are thankful for, or will be thankful for?  You seem we need to change our frequency to deal with the things we CAN'T change and put them in a higher frequency for a better response from the universe.  I may be learning this slowly, but I understand the concept.  If we can create more positive energetic vibration around a situation, then that situation ends up having a more positive response in our life.  there are a lot of things in our lives we can change if we want to.  The biggest inability we have of change is other people.  So when it comes to perspective, to changing the way we look at things, allowing people to be who they are and then looking at them in a different light may be what we need to do in order to accept who they are and not want or expect them to change who they are.  Also, we must realize that when people want change, they will create the vibration in their life to make the changes they want by simply putting the intent into the universe to align with what it is they want, whether conscious or subconscious, it happens.  This affect changes the world we live in on a daily basis.  

The point of all of this is, that it is easy for us to get frustrated when we want something or someone to change and they won't.  It means we need to back up, worry about the things we can change ( ourselves, our actions, our emotions, our situation) and if we can't change it (other people, certain random events, weather, etc.) then look at it differently and find a new perspective.  You will find that life plays out much more peaceful if you can start taking these steps!

Life is a Highway- And we are the drivers......

You know, Chris Le'Doux Said it best when he said "Life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long".  Well as I have been travelling more and more, I find truly that Life, is a highway and much life the highway, how we drive our cars can dictate how we might live in many areas of our lives.  I have spent many countless hours in my car on trips to Los Angelas, San Francisco, Fresno, and pretty much everywhere in between and especially as I am travelling with my kids this month, I am paying attention more and more to the way people drive.

Think about for a moment all the types of drivers there are in life.  And realize there is ABSOLUTELY no science behind this, just my observation.  There are angry aggressive people who dodge in and out of traffic cutting others off, without a care as to whether they cause bodily damage to any one else, taking extreme risks and cutting it close all the time ( High Risk takers... sometimes in life these risks are too extreme???).  There are people who get in a crowd of traffic, and work their way through the traffic but in a consistent and calculated manner and are cautious of other people and the "Space" around their vehicle.  They eventually pull away from the crowd in success to reach their destination a little ahead of schedule.  (these are calculated risk takers in life)  there are those who pull in to the fast lane when traffic is moving faster than them and just SIT THERE blocking traffic from proceeding behind them all the while acting as if there is no care in the world (Know anyone like this in your life.. an obstacle, or a challenge to go around or "deal" with"?)   there are those who kick it in the slow lane and watch the rest of traffic pass them by. (Maybe someone who allows life to control them rather than the other way around).  there are then the motorcycles who speed up in between you in traffic who make their own way (maybe someone who is blazing their own trail with calculated risk).  Each type of driver there is out there can represent some area of our lives.  And i say some area because this is how I see it:

We are all drivers on our own highway of life.  But along the way there are lane changes, traffic jams, slow people, fast people, exits, turns, curves, mountains, etc.  How we drive in each of these situations may very well be a representation of how we live our life.  We all have the road we are travelling paved with it's own stuff.  It is our decision on how to drive our highway much like it is our decision how to drive in a highway full of others whom are in control of their own car and lives.  It was so clear to me when I was coming back to Fresno the other day that each of us, we have to recognize that our highway is ours but we have to look at how our highway is guiding us and what it is giving is in our own life.  How are you driving down your highway?  At what moment do you become the calculated risk taker versus the slow cautious driver?  At which point do you say I'm going too slow and need to pick it up?  At which point do you say, I'm going too fast and need to hit the brakes?  you see, when we are driving, I have heard that we may make up to 1000 decisions a minute- maybe more!  that's a ton.  If we do that while driving, then JUST IMAGINE how many decisions you are making in your daily life?

How are you choosing to drive on your highway???

The perfection of Children- A good example for us!

Sorry for the delay in writing to all of you.  I have been heavily involved in working at the fire station as well as getting prepared for the month long visit from my children which I have recently started!  It has been an amazing beginning of the trip and I have found myself observing, watching and looking at my children in different light this trip as their roles in my life continually develop, change and grow.  

My kids are 12, 10 and 8- Nicole, Jared and Jacob respectively.  I have never seen more perfection in a soul or in actions as kids.  As I have watched over the last few days I have paid attention to mood, communication, stories, actions, excitement, drama, temper tantrums, blwoing up, hurt feelings, and all of the above.  And it ALL made sense to me.  Let me use their stories to help us identify what we can do as people to recognize our own challenges. 

You see, I have said this before, but we are born perfect as kids.  As I watched my kids here are the qualities I see: 

• Fearless
• open to communicate in the LOUDEST way possible
• Curious
• Inspired
• Determined
• Playful
• Engaged in life
• Emotional
• Not closed off
• Loving
• Open to affection
• Able to act without thought
• Unaware of danger
• not in tune with the bad stuff in the world
• Open to lessons
• Learns lessons easily

When we start to examine our own lives and how we have gotten to where we are, sometimes we have to look at what our actions and our lives we lead are like.  I would venture to say if we were half as fearless as we were when we were kids, we would accomplish so much more in life because we would not care about the outcome, nor would we care what others thought. You see, so often we work so hard on pleasing others, we forget what it truly is that we want or desire.  We sometimes forget what our dreams and goals are because we are so focussed outwardly on what other people think of us. 

You see, our dreams, our goals, our visions of what we want in our life, they are ours.  they don't belong to anyone else.  Kids get this.  They understand that it is everything to be able to communicate, it is everything to be able to just exist in the moment.  They don't worry about tomorrw.  They very rarely regret the past.  They simply exist for what it is in front of them at this moment, at this time.  It is with age, we gain "Wisdom" which sometimes can hinder our greatest achievements because we are worried about who will say something or what will people think if we do.

You see, we need to be more inquisitive, more trusting, more willing to put ourselves out there, more able to dream, more open to others, more communicative.  If we all did this as adults, could you imagine what this world would be like and how much we could accomplish as a human race?  The only limit we would have is how fast we could come up with resources for anything we wanted.  It is up to us on a daily basis to live the way we choose to live.  I am choosing to live in the moment.  What are you choosing?   Today is all we have..take lessons from those who know how to live in the moment the best, our children. 

You have the choice and the "Responsibility" for your own life

Lately, I have been around people in my own life whom have been stuck where they are in life, in being "scared" of being vulnerable, "afraid" of the future and what it might bring and "have fear" of the what-if's in life.  So I have thought a great deal on this fear, the reactions we have to life and what our lives are to become.  And as I was thinking and coaching my last seminar, i starting speaking a great deal about the choices we make in life.  You see, we have the responsibility to live our lives any way we choose.  What do I mean by this?

Let's break down the word- Responsibility into it's components:
Respond Ability- Yes, the ability to respond.  You see, we all have the ability to respond, or essentially the "Choice" to follow our hearts desires, or not to.  We all have challenges placed in front of us all the time.  it is how YOU CHOOSE TO RESPOND to these challenges and situations that will dictate the outcome.  Let's use an example.

Let me use as I often do, the choices we make regarding our own health and wellness.  You see, we are all given 24 hours in a day.  We are all given the time we need to accomplish the things that we need to do.  Here is the challenge.  Are the choices you are making allowing you to progress towards your goals.  In the event of fitness, I spent a number of years working for a large globo-gym style gym convincing people they need to work out.  Wait a second, I had to CONVINCE people they needed to move their body in order to be healthy and well.  And here is what I thought about as I was doing so.  isn't it a choice to move your body?  Isn't it a choice to do what it takes to stay healthy.  Isn't it a choice to do the things that inherently we know are going to be good for our body?  How often in yopur own life, have you made the choice to put your own health on the back burner and go do something OTHER than take care of yourself.  Let me put it another way.  If you were given the choice between all natural food that you had to prepare and food that was already prepared for you, what would you choose?  (those of you whom are close to me know how I choose to live about 85-90% of the time)

It is your ability to respond to the hours given to you in any day that help to dictate the choices you make.  Let me also take this from another angle.  The choices we make to be emotionally attached to a situation, a person, or a feeling also are dependent upon YOUR CHOICE.  Let's say for example. someone close to you does something that completely destroys the trust you had in that person.  You now have the ability to respond in any way which you see fit.  You see, most people tend to carry that with them between themselves and that person forever.  But it is YOUR CHOICE to be open and learn to trust again.  You have to be willing and make the choice to put that past you.  You can make the choice to forgive and maybe not forget.  The ability to make a choice to get beyond an incident or situation comes down to personal responsibility.  the ONLY thing we control in life is our own thoughts, feelings and actions.  I once heard that change the things you can, and for those you can't change the way you look at them.  What great advice!  This can be true of our own emotions and feelings.  Choose to look a things differently when you are challenged.  Choose to change how you feel, choose a different emotion.  Choose a different path.  It is your responsibility!  It is your life!! MAKE IT WHAT YOU WANT!

Sometimes I see people who make a choice not to make a choice.  Realize this is again exercising your ability to respond to a given situation.  You are now choosing NOT to make a choice which inherently keeps you right where you are.  If you are comfortable with this and the storyline you tell yourself (your emotions) are copasetic with that "Choice" then by all means, don't make a decision.  One of the hardest things we do when we make a choice is face our own fears and stigma's associated with it.  It means things may be uncomfortable.  It means we may have to get out of our comfort zone and make progress or stay right where we are.  It means we may fail... but that is all part of the process.  It is all part of taking responsibility for who we are and what we want out of our lives!

The past is done, so live without regret, the future is tomorrow, so don't worry about it, Today is here and now, that's why it's called the present.  Open up the gift you have been given and choose to live the life you want.

Next topic... how to accept and create change in your life.

Everything else is just an excuse!

It has been said before that "You'll go after what you want, everything else is just an excuse".  This couldn't be more true.  As a coach, a mentor, a friend, an educator, a motivator, a father, a son, a brother, I have seen so many people in my life create excuses and not go after what it is they want.  Today, we want to break down the excuses and take a look at what is really going on and why it is we continue to create excuses in our lives to go after what it is we really want.
You see, there are many things we want in our lives and many things we want to go after.  I will use today as an example to you of what I ALMOST used as an excuse.  You see, I just got home from a Rescue Class this week.  In fact, it was an awesome physically demanding and challenging class.  We were completing some shoring yesterday (stuff to hold up structural collapses ) and in the VERY last event of the day, I decided I no longer wanted my thumb, so destroyed it with a hammer while I was holding on to a nail.  Immediately it swelled up, became purple and is EXTREMELY tender to the touch.  Now, if anyone has had this happen, it can be excruciating.. and in fact it IS excruciating.   So i almost let this stop me from doing what I love to do... Working out.  I had to stop, listen to what I was telling myself, and change the path I was going down to ensure I was on track with what I wanted and stop allowing myself to make excuses that it would hurt.  There was one point in the workout in which I hit the tip of my thumb.  Yes, it hurt, but my will to endure the workout was greater than the will to stop.
What's the point of all of this?  The point is, for what we really want in life, our fitness, our health, that dream career, that dream person, the dream car, whatever it is, we will go after it if we REALLY want it, otherwise we will find our own way out of it.  Let me use another example of this with the gym, in particular, CrossFit.
Most of the CrossFit Affiliates post their workouts the day before or the day of the actual workout.  Here's the great opportunity for you.. you can "Cherry pick" the workouts you want to do right?  But is that staying true to your ultimate goal of fitness, or is that you "picking" what you are good at and focussing on that?  If you TRULY wanted to become over-all better at fitness, then wouldn't you come in as many times as it takes to get there?   Wouldn't you pick the weaknesses as much as the strengths to work on?  If you truly wanted to improve over-all, wouldn't you not make the excuse of "eh... well, it looks like a tough workout today" and come in any way?  What is it that you are afraid of?
If you look to others for motivation and inspiration and they are achieving what you want to achieve, follow what they are doing, or at least ask them how they get through without listening to their inner excuse.  We all have it, that inner excuse.  It's just a matter of over-coming it.  It's the same with nutrition, with all other areas of life.  We all have the same 24 hours in a day, it;s how you lay it out and what you CHOOSE to do with it that will determine the outcome of what you want to do.  How good are you at making excuses and listening to them?  What is it that YOU want and how are YOU going to overcome those excuses?  Later, I will post on getting out of the comfort zone again and how to stop listening to those inner excuses.  Remember....

You'll go after what you want,  Everything else is just an excuse!!  (thanks Koshi for the quote)
 Jason had a pretty good fall during the West Sac Standoff, but got up and kept going.. after only CrossFitting for 3 weeks!!!! What an animal!  Thanks for your inspiration!